Intrepid Murmurings

Here's one of my favorite pictures of Elsie (left) and Delia (right), which is currently in the running for photo of the week over at Multiples and More -- go vote!  

This was back in early May, when it was still kinda chilly (hence the fleece coats!), but sunny enough to bust out the water table.  Elsie and Delia looooove the water and do not mind getting wet (if I recall, several feet, complete with socks and shoes, also went into the water -- ha ha!)    

Linking up with Wordless Wednesday posts over at A Lot of Loves and Hobo Mama.   

Awhile back, I posted about our toddler bed transition connundrum with our twins, Elsie and Delia.  Mainly, how to manage the transition from cribs to Big Kid Beds, with two crazy two year olds.  

I have slowly, SLOWLY, been getting used to the idea, that at some point somewhat soonish, this is going to have to happen.  Lonnie also agreed that we don't need to push it, or at least relented to my adamant refusal to jump on board, ha ha!

I felt like any change was pushing our luck -- Elsie and Delia go to bed so well in their cribs, now.  Bedtime, for both naps and night, is a breeze, which is HUGE, I know, I truly truly know from our experiences with Emma (and the early days E& D!) and from so many other friends stories.  Now, they still wake up many nights at least once, and are early early early birds, so its not all sawing logs around here, trust me.  But for the most part, I am really happy with our sleep situation.  

Which is why, a month or so ago, I was very distressed to find out that not one but BOTH of our cribs were unsafe.  One, Elsie's, which we bought new for Emma, was recalled due to the dropside.  I knew this was coming, and can get some hardware to immobilize that side, making it safe.  Delia's, however, which we got used from another family, ended up being too old for a recall, but is also considered unsafe to use.  No fixes there.  That one always felt a bit more rickety, and after hearing that, I freaked out and knew it had to go.  

Delia's last day in her crib, sniff sniff!

But, what to do?  New cribs, for just a short time?  Cribs that convert to toddler beds?  We really prefer larger sized beds, so we can lie down with them if needed, so toddler beds aren't our top choice.  Just bite the bullet and switch to Big Kid Beds (single beds) and hope for the best, in terms of nighttime shenanigans?  

None of these options sounded good.  But I really wanted to get rid of that one crib in particular.  So, I had an idea.  We took down the crib, and put Delia's mattress on the floor.  Then, I brought out the old Super Yard (yes, the one that we used outside to gate off the front steps so they could play on the front porch, all of last year!).  After a VERY thorough cleaning, it found a new home.  Here we are trying it out for the first time (Delia is very pleased, and Elsie was quite envious, though accepting, of Delia's new bed.  When asked what kind of bed she has now, she says "Gate!".  Ha!  

Basically, it is a crib on the ground (which I can fit into!).  If she wanted to, she could climb it I'm sure, but neither of the girls have seriously considered climbing out of their cribs, so so far this hasn't been an issue. The mattress fits pretty well, though there is a gap on one side I stuff with blankets, and a foot or two space at the end of the bed (I wouldn't use this with an infant, for that reason!).  It has worked great -- she likes it and sleeps just as well in it as the old crib.  The only issue I have is that when both E & D fall asleep nursing with me in the glider for naptime (they don't at bedtime anymore) I can't ease her in, one armed in the football hold, the way I used to.  They are getting so big, and the bed is so low!  Going to have to figure that one out...

Obviously this is a temporary stage.  I've already found a second gate to borrow (thanks to my multiples club classifieds, woohoo!) so we will be doing this for Elsie's as well (she is pleased, and I am excited that this may solve the jumping wake up issue).  Soon, I will try opening one of the sides on their gates, and see if they will stay in bed when told (we still use a monitor, so I go to them when they wake & need me in the night).  If the crazy bedtime challenges start happening that I have read so much about (with them waking each other up, getting in each others beds, playing and causing chaos instead of sleeping) we will deem it Not Time Yet and close them back up.  

Once we get them sleeping well in the open beds, we'll move to (much cuter) Big Kid Beds.  They are very interested in this -- Delia insists she will be getting a "Maisy Big Girl Bed" and luckily, Grandma Cynthia is going to make that happen with some cute quilts and pillows, hooray!  

What has your experience been with the Big Kid Bed transition?  Any tricks for twins or sibs who share a room?  I'd love to hear it!  

There is something about twins...and I have been seeing it more and more lately!  They just have such a connection, an acceptance of each other, a familiarity... 

I have read about the "twin mystique" -- the romanticizing of twins that occurs in our society, which affects how people treat them and creates so much pressure for them to be close, to be similar, to deny their individuality for the sake of "the twinship" -- and it is very possible I am reading into it, buying into the glamourous "mystery" of twins.  I think thats so easy to do, especially as a non-twin (and an only child!).  

I do think different-aged siblings can also have a similarly close connection -- when you are around someone so much, share a room, share activities, share clothes, share a childhood, this just happens, I am sure.  I do see similarly touching moments between Emma and Elsie or Emma and Delia, just not as often, and there is something different --  they are not on a level playing field, there is a power or knowledge or maturity imbalance that just changes things, however slightly.  With Elsie and Delia, they are the same age, have most of the same abilities, very similar interests, and a closeness that comes from doing so much together, in step with each other, due to constant proximity, if nothing else.  

Lately, they have been mentioning the other when they are apart, and it is obvious they are thinking of each other.  They are not like some twins I have heard of, who cry or mope when separated -- not at all!  They do certainly notice, though, and are sometimes pretty excited to be doing something by themselves!  I believe strongly in spending time with them individually, taking them out for one-on-one time, and it hasn't been happening as often as I'd like.  As they get older, I hope they will insist on this, and I will try to as well.  But we will also cherish the together times, and I look forward to seeing what happens as they grow.   

Playing in the fort at Emma's school

On our hike, Elsie called Delia back to point out and discuss these tree roots coming out of the ground. They examined and talked about them together for a long time.

 If you have twins (or are a twin!), what do you think about the "twin mystique"?  Are your twins close, and do they seem to share a special connection?

This post is part of the Mom's 30-Minute Blog Challenge over at Steady Mom.  A concept I wish I could stick to more often!  

I am having a toddler room sharing dilemma -- which I am sure is quite common.  Elsie now insists on jumping in her crib, very very vigorously (squeak squeak squeak! Bump bump bump!), and throwing her sippy cup (Thud!) and then stuffed animals out the moment she wakes in the morning (or from nap).  Which is generally 5:40 am or so, for the former.  

It is clearly waking up Delia AND Emma (who is in the next room over, behind a closed door!).  Elsie & Delia have a nightlight that cues when its wakeup time (right now set for 6am) and for awhile there she was really good about waiting -- not sure if she was lying there awake waiting for "Sun Come On!" or just sleeping later.   But now, that is not happening. Again.    

Its not like 20 minutes is a huge deal, either.  My issue is less that she is waking a bit earlier than I'd like and more about the jumping/waking sibs up. Though I do kind of fear that she will keep pushing it earlier and earlier  -- back to the 4:30-5am wakeups we were having awhile ago-- horrors!  I am not a morning person!  And I feel bad for both Delia and Emma -- they could use the sleep.  Until recently both Elsie and Delia would start talking or calling for me, which doesn't seem to wake each other as much.  The jumping, nobody ever sleeps through.    

What would YOU do?  Is there anything TO do at this age (two years old)?  I have told her not to jump but ha ha ha, yeah right.  Jumping is SO FUN!!! Especially if it causes your sister to then wake and jump, too, in unison!!!  I get that, and agree.  Pretty fun stuff.  But still!  Don't freaking wake your sister!  This is my biggest fear with the whole looming crib to big kid bed transition, and I know this is nothing compared to what we may face (oh hello, here I come to SIT ON YOU, sleeping sister, WAKE UUUUUUUUUP!).  I just am trying to figure out if there is something I can say or do to eliminate this.  

Probably not.  

Alas.  

Oh, toddlers... 

Two weeks ago, I got to lead a meeting about babywearing for my multiples club.  So much fun!  I got to share my experiences and knowledge with about 10-15 other families with twins, all under a year, most under 4 months.   

I think a lot of parents of twins think that wearing two babies in carriers is too complicated, too uncomfortable, or just not possible -- that even if you put one in a carrier, you still have to use a stroller for the other, so why bother!  Its true, some aspects of babywearing are different with twins.   I wore mine at different times and in general less often than my singleton, especially as they got older.  But its still so worth it!  

Babies love (and need!) to be held, and twins, unfortunately, don't always get as much contact time due to the logistics of being a twin.  This is one of the hardest parts of being a parent of newborn twins! Being in arms or in a carrier helps calm and comfort a baby, it helps them "get organized" with regards to sleep, feeding, digestion, breathing & temperature regulation.  It helps them bond and connect with their caregivers.  There are so many other great benefits to being physically connected to your newborn.  

Early on, my sanity (and my back) was saved by wearing two fussy crying screaming babies and calming them to sleep by bouncing them both, at the same time, on the yoga ball.  I was able walk my toddler to daycare up steps not navigable by my stroller, by wearing one on my back and one on my front.  I was able to nurse my babies discreetly in stores, at the park, on a walk -- since I was pretty much nursing around the clock, if I wanted to go anywhere, I was going to have to nurse one or both of them at some point during the outing.  

Of course if there are two adults around, you can each wear a baby and ditch the giant double stroller.  If you are by yourself, you can wear one baby and put the other in a more reasonably sized single stroller, avoiding SOME of the "twin sniffing" that can be an annoyance when you just want to get through your walk or finish your shopping without a conversation with every person you meet along the way.  Another bonus of babywearing is that you can wear one baby (the fussy or sleepy one, generally) and then interact or play with baby number two (who also needs some lovin', but is not as needy or demanding, perhaps!).  

One baby in a stretchy wrap, one in the stroller means room for big sister!

Anyway, back to the babywearing meeting!  I started off by talking about the recent safety concerns.  There was a lot in the news a few months back about the safety of a few certain slings in particular, and also a few things about babywearing and carriers in general.   Here's the brief bullet points I addressed on that (I went into more detail in the meeting, obviously).  Please note:  I am not a doctor, nor do I consider myself an "expert" in carriers.  I am a mom who has used carriers with my own kids.  The information that follows is from my own experiences, gathered from speaking to knowledgable friends, and from reading online.   

• The main carrier that was recalled 2010 was the Infantino Sling Rider.  From what I understand, this was due to several defects in the design -- a plastic piece in it would break and the carrier would drop, and, perhaps more importantly, the sling was too deep and "bag like" and the baby would not get enough oxygen.  Do not use "bag style" slings, they are not safe.  
• In any carrier, you want your baby "close enough to kiss".  They should not be hiding or slouching down under a lot of fabric.  You should be able to see and touch your baby, they should be positioned high on your chest or back, not sagging down by your stomach or waist. 
• In any carrier, avoid chin-to-chest curling.  You should be able to fit two adult fingers in between the babies chest and chin.  Tummy to tummy holds are ideal, with firm support along the back to keep them from slouching.  Cradle and other reclined positions are more challenging to do safely. 
• Avoid having very young or at risk infants pressing their faces hard into your chest or body.  Turn their heads gently, so that they can get air more easily.  If you can hear your young baby's breathing (and they are not otherwise stuffy or sick), something is not right; the baby is expending too much energy breathing.  Try adjusting or repositioning.   
• Babies at risk of having these problems are almost always newborns, under 4 months of age.  Low-birthweight twins, preemies, and babies with respiratory problems are at higher risk.  Definitely something to keep in mind, especially since twins are more often affected by these things, but also note that once your child is older, has neck control and is able to move his head to the side on his own, there is much less risk -- many of these things are no longer a concern. 

Now, onward, to the fun stuff!  Here are the questions I found I get asked most about babywearing twins, and my current answers! 

What is your favorite carrier? 

My all-time favorites for newborns and infants are ring slings, due to the infinite adjustability.  Once you've used it a bit, you can get a baby in, tight and comfortable in no time.  They were easy for me to nurse in, very discreetly.  My favorite ring slings are made by Sleeping Baby Productions, either made by her (Jan Andreas), or homemade using her pattern for the gathered shoulder.  Other favorites of mine was a homemade K'Tan carrier (I assume the real thing would be just as good, or better!) and the Kangaroo Korner Adjustable Fleece pouch.  

Not exactly flattering of me, but that second one shows you can tandem nurse in a ring sling without baring too much skin! When I was out of the house, I could spread the fabric if I felt like covering up more (not that you should have to!)

For older infants and toddlers, I like the Kozy Carrier (I know other brands of mei tais, like the Babyhawk, are great too).  I also really love the Beco Butterfly -- it spreads weight really well on two shoulders and your hips (especially important as the baby gets bigger), and with the infant insert was KEY to my wearing two babies at once.

How do you wear two babies at once?  Is there a carrier that can fit two babies?

I was never really able to wear two newborn babies in one carrier.  Some people have luck with wearing both in a stretchy wrap like the Moby (or any wrap for that matter) but I never was -- my girls were too big and would smoosh and bonk against each other.  I have heard of folks using one wrap with a baby on the front and one on the back when they are older, though!  

I have also seen pictures of crisscrossing two babies in two stretchy pouches, or two ring slings.  I prefer one baby on my back, one on my front, which means you need to wait until your babies have a bit of head control.  

Oh, tired Daddy with two babies in the pouch!

How young can you put a baby on your back?   What kind of carrier can I use?  

While I've seen videos of folks nimbly getting a newborn on their back in a wrap, that is waaaaay beyond my babywearing skillz!  I waited until my babies were about 2.5 months, with decent head control (my twins were big full term babies, however) before trying a back carry with my Beco Butterfly.  The Beco Butterfly has an "infant insert" that makes it really quite easy to get a young baby in and up safely.  In the insert, they nestled down low and tight enough that I felt safe about their head not flopping around.  I would put the baby in the carrier on the sofa or a chair, then put the carrier on my back, like a backpack.  There must be other carriers that work for getting infants on your back, but I do not personally know of any! 

What combinations of carriers can you use to wear two babies on front and back?  

There is bunch of carrier combinations that work with this!  Hooray!  It really depends on what carriers you have, how old your babies are, and what your preferences are.  I have heard of using two mei tais, or a combo of a wrap (on the front) and a mei tai (on the back).  You can do a mei tai on the front, and a soft structured carrier on the back.  For older babies & toddlers, two soft structured carriers works well. Or, a wrap on the back, a structured carrier on the front.   Or two wraps!  The key with the combinations is to figure out how to keep the straps, buckles or knots from one carrier from bothering the baby on the other side.  It can be tricky at first, but there is usually a way to work it!  

I mostly wore my twins together when they were under 6 months -- and not for long periods of time --  so the stretchy/soft carriers in the front were great. My favorite combination was Beco on my back, the K'tan Carrier on my front.  Later, the Beco on my back, a ring sling on my front.  I would put the front carrier on loosely without the baby, then put the baby in the Beco and on my back.  Then I'd slip the second baby into the front carrier, tighten it up, and we'd be off!  Once they were asleep, I could ease the Beco off my back onto the bed, and the baby would stay asleep! Then I could sloooooowly lower the front baby off and into her bed, and I'd be free.  For a few minutes, anyway...

I know folks who have tandem worn their twins as they have gotten older, into toddlerdom, but I will admit I have not.  I love the idea of this, but in reality, wearing two means I cannot carry my backpack diaper bag, nor can I assist or interact well with my preschooler.  My girls learned early on to enjoy their stroller (unlike their big sis!) so more often than not these days (or especially when they were younger and walking less), I opt for the stroller.  The stroller is a good option, too, sometimes!  Its doesn't have to be one or the other, all or nothing.

I do keep reminding myself that there are so many situations where putting one of my toddlers in a carrier might really help, a lot!  When we are shopping and there is only a regular cart -- with one child seat, for example!  Or when one is having a rough time, fighting, biting, sick or just needing mama, and I am busy with chores around the house or with my other two kids.  Even my four year old adores being worn (and "babied") in a carrier, and with the right carrier, it really is quite comfortable!  

I forget -- and need to keep reminding myself -- that even at two and four years old, my babies are really still so young, needing the touch and closeness that babywearing can provide.

Do you have babywearing questions or advice?  Experience with wearing twins?  Suggestions for carriers for other twin parents to try out? What combinations work best for you?  I'd love to hear them, please leave a comment below!   

 This post is part of the Babywearing Blog Carnival over on the Babywearing Videos Blog -- check out lots of other posts there!   

 
Elsie (purple) & Delia (yellow), 4 days old (sorry for the lack of pictures taken on your actual birthday, and the following days. We were SOOOOO busy!) Here's a link to their birth story.  

Delia is ONE!  Hooray!

 
Elsie is ONE, yahoo!

Happy SECOND birthday, Delia Grace!  We love you!  

 
You are TWO Elsie Olivia!  We love you! 

I realize this is very similar to what I posted last year.  But its good enough for a repeat, no?  

Happy birthday eve, my dear Delia and Elsie...

Last week Emma came home from school, saying something about how "one twin" was missing from her class for awhile.  Or something like that.   Whether the kid was absent or actually "missing" or not was of no concern to me -- geesh, as a kindergarten teacher I certainly had my moments were one child or another wasn't where they were expected to be at a certain time, but we always found them eventually! 

However, the fact that Emma was referring to one of her classmates as "a twin" instead of her name bugged me and I told her that (or, erm, lectured her half the way home, ha ha!).   If she didn't know who was who (they are identical, both in the same class) that's okay and totally understandable, especially for children referring to classmates or others they don't know too well, but to refer to them as "a twin" instead of their actual names (even if its " x or y," "Elsie or Delia" etc) does not sit well with me.  Here's why:

1) While they are indeed twins, their twinness is NOT (and should not be) the primary aspect of their identity.  Every child is an individual, with a real name, just like any other person.  If you refer to other children by their first names, please refer to mine by theirs, as well, even if you are saying them together ("Elsie and Delia are playing with the blocks, NOT "The twins are playing with the blocks.)

2) Its okay to mix up identical twins, or not know who is who.  While its REALLY great to try hard to pay attention and figure out some identifying characteristics, its also far better to ASK the child their name if you are not sure than to just call them "the twins" or to not call them anything at all.  Even at 2 years old, my girls will usually answer and say their name or point to themselves or each other when you ask if they are Elsie or Delia.  

3) Its important for their development to be seen as two separate people.  I think it is inevitable that twins will struggle with identity at some point, and sometimes it will be very very hard for them.  Even if they seem to be a "unit" right now, and appear to like and do the same things or are always together, try to refer to them separately, and speak to them separately, so that eventually, gradually, they will too.

4) Sometimes, its admittedly easier to refer to twins together  -- when you are talking about both of them doing the same thing.  I often do it when trying to distinguish them from my older daughter -- for a long time (and even sometimes today) I called them "the babies"  or "the little girls" as opposed to the bigger sister.  For some reason this feels better than saying "the twins", even though its sort of doing the same thing.  I guess partly because it feels like that term is not a permanent part of their identity that will follow them forever -- it is a passing thing that they will soon grow out of.  Probably better to use their names, even so.   I do use "the twins" or "my twins" when talking to people who do not know Elsie and Delia ARE twins, of course -- as long as their twinness is somewhat relevant to the topic or conversation at hand.  

5) Keep in mind who is listening!  Adults (generally? I hope?) understand that twins are two separate people, with different personalities, interests, feelings, identities.  But for children, I think this is much harder to grasp (especially with identical or same sex twins).  If children around you hear you referring to other kids as "the twins" they will too, and they may likely stop trying to tell them apart or treating them as separate people (I have seen this already, with my daughter and her twin schoolmates -- and she has twin sisters whom she KNOWS are two different people! Geesh!).  

Obviously I am not a twin, so this is parent's perspective -- a parent of young twins, at that.  I'm sure I'll refine my views as I learn and experience more!  I can recommend two books written BY twins about this kind of thing, whom say it far more eloquently than I -- Emotionally Healthy Twins by Joan Friedman, and One and the Same, My Life as and Identical Twin and Everyone's Struggle to be Singular by Abigail Pogrebin (the latter I admit I have not yet finished, but have enjoyed so far and all the reviews are GREAT!)

A few days ago, right at bedtime (us not them), Lonnie suggested we get Big Kid Beds for Elsie and Delia.  He has also suggested they SHARE A BED.    

His reasoning?  Emma was sleeping in one way earlier than this (18 months). They could come get us if they needed us, so we could ditch the monitor.  They are occasionally threatening to try to climb out of their cribs (more on this below).  He shared rooms and beds with his (not same age) siblings as a kid, and thinks it was good.  I am not sure if there are any other reasons he was thinking of... 

Um, what?  Panic panic panic.  I spent a good 20 minutes thinking of all the reasons I do NOT think this is a good idea (while he fell peacefully to sleep).  Here they are!  For the record, Elsie and Delia will be two years old in a few weeks.  

• they fall asleep at night and nap really great in their cribs right now!
• they like their cribs, a lot
• they are FINALLY starting to sleep through the night, having recently nightweaned (let's not fix what's not broke)
• their cribs are the only place IN THE HOUSE where I can put them when I need to separate them, or when I need a few moments where they are safe and cannot get into things (we have no baby gates up now).  
• their cribs are the only places that are truly their own space, that their siblings cannot get into and take things from
• they have yet to climb out of their cribs, and are not really threatening to, either (mostly just play/pretending by lifting their leg up to try occasionally)
• I have heard HORROR stories about transitioning twins to big kid beds, mainly having to do with:
• How the heck do you keep them from getting into their sibs bed and keeping/waking them up?  Right now my girls love to sit on each others heads, all the time, for fun (even when the other is NOT having fun).  
• How do you you keep them from leaving the room frequently?
• Two two year olds left awake,  alone and able to access a room full of clothes, shoes, toys in books sounds like a recipe for disaster...
• Also having them able to wake up, leave their room and have access to the whole house unsupervised at night is Not Good.  We do not have baby gates up in our house anymore.   
• Making this transition will likely add a fair bit of time to bedtime until they get into the new routine, both at nap and at night (I have heard from many folks that this can be up to an hour or two of returning them to their beds and staying until they fall asleep).

Every Friday, a parent group I am a part of meets up at a local park for a "ramble" -- a walk through the woods, with kids.  We try to avoid the playgrounds, if there are any, and dive right into the more open, natural spaces.  We walk for a bit, and stop a lot.  Kids play, explore, run and climb.   Parents often get to talk (though more on that, later).     

We are really enjoying these walks!  We are so lucky to have a ton of great nature-oriented parks super close to us.   This is the first time I have been venturing out with Elsie and Delia without the stroller on walks longer than car to door type things.  It takes some planning and effort, but its been working really well!  They are almost two, and can manage most terrain pretty well (though they still need help with steps!).  On paths and trails, they are pretty easy to keep track of,  and in a group, other parents can kind of help me out some.  

I have to say, though, I have occasional flashes of envy when I see many of the moms chit chatting it up while their kids frolic about.  Not just at these walks, but most kid activities and events.  So many have just one baby or toddler, or a toddler or preschooler and a baby in a carrier.  Ah, it just looks so easy!  In any kind of group setting (even in ones like this with great, conscientious and helpful moms), I feel like I am always ON, either containing, corralling, tending to or entertaining my three.  I feel like I am generally pretty laid back when it comes to child-tending, but even despite that its a lot of work!

While we wait for others to show up and start the walk, I am figuring out things to keep my toddlers from running into the parking lot.  We look at bugs, we walk walls, we do laps.  On the hikes, I often am trying to get one to hurry up, while the others run ahead (this is actually not so bad, though -- its easiest when we are moving sometimes).  When we stop to play, when others are just hanging around and having fun, I have to start corralling more actively.  I am helping one climb a hill or cliff, while trying to keep an eye on the other two how scatter in different directions or whine to do something else.  Then I am helping one pee in the woods, while hoping the others don't take off down the path and out of view.    

I feel like I am always trying to think and plan ways to get everyone to do what I'd like them to, without making it look or feel like that is what I am doing -- ha!

At the playground, oy vey, they are keeping me on the move now, literally sprinting from one section to another as Elsie and Delia climb and dangle from HIGH equipment made for much bigger kids (they have no fear, and are great at it all, mostly!).  Meanwhile, Emma tries something new and panics halfway, wanting to be rescued.  Often, I am calling out for one of them, whoever has wandered away and escaped my current view.  By necessity, I give my girls a LOT more freedom and space on the playground than some folks do -- yet I am still always moving, lifting and climbing, myself. 

Meanwhile, other parents lounge and talk.  My day for that will come, right?  Someday?

In many respects, I feel lucky that my girls are as easy to manage as they are.  My girls are generally not "bolters" (though they are trying it out occasionally!) --which I know strikes fear into the heart of every parent of multiples or closely spaced singletons.  They are really social and (at least currently) do great around other people -- making all of this so much easier.  On these more organized outings, I often have help from others who keep an eye out for my kids, help them onto the swings, brushing them off if they fall, spotting them on higher climbers and such.  And man do I appreciate it!  I am always grateful for the offer (or just jumping in) to help, even if I feel like I have things under control, from both friends and strangers.  Sometimes, we really are totally fine, but other times I could really use a hand!  

On Friday, we walked a LONG way, I'd guess more than a mile, through the woods, up and down some hills and stairs, did the playground, went down to the beach, and then back again.  Great fun!  But the walk from the beach back to the parking lot was ROUGH -- they were tired & distracted, and while at least not whiny, they were not very focused on moving forward.  We had a stressful bathroom stop where E & D thought it was funny to try and run away from me both into gross stalls and out the door, while Emma needed help on the toilet.  Nap was approaching, but we were still so far from the car!  Nobody was willing to hold my hand, either.  I ended up walking forward short stretches by myself, then would sit along the path while they eventually caught up to me.   Repeat, repeat, repeat, until we were close enough to the car that they would all walk along with me.    

When we finally made it to the car, and I got all three strapped in pretty quick and got in the car to leave.  Just then another mama -- who happened to be nursing her baby in the next car over -- called through her open window "I'm so impressed!".  Her toddler started repeating it over and over, waving and dancing too, which was really funny. This woman hadn't seen how my last 30 minutes had gone, but being recognized and complimented by a random stranger for doing something not exactly easy was nice, in that moment.

I left with a smile.  We will be back!

So much is going on, and I keep meaning to dedicate a post to each of these things, but for the time being, here's the short clip version:

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With the big number two birthdays heading on down the line, I finally bit the bullet and nightweaned.  FINALLY, I know!   I could have done it sooner but for many reasons I did not.  They still wake and need a cuddle in the night a fair bit, so we're not 100% there yet but for the first time IN MORE THAN 4 YEARS, there are nights when I am sleeping for longer than 3 hours at a time without interruption.  And its oh, so delightful.  

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Also, the waking in the wee hours of the morning is gradually getting better again.  Thanks in part to EARLIER bedtimes, woo hoo (and a few other changes to the bedtime routine, for all three girls)! Thank you all who gave me advice on this.  I'll try to write a bit more about this soonish...

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We are also in the midst of potty training!  Delia pretty much figured it out on her own and is doing great if I remind her often enough.  I had high hopes of going for it as full-time as I could (during the hours we were home) this week, but OMG, if we go without diapers its pretty much a constant job helping one of them use the potty, dealing with someone else's accident, one or the other wanting to wanting to sit on the big potty or dump the little potty, flush, needing my help to wash hands, needing to wash the sister's hands who just touched the potty/pee/whatever too, another accident over there, rinse, repeat.   Potty Insanity.   I gave up on the jump-into-it-whole-hog approach for the time being, but we may reassess and try again soon.  

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All in all things here are both joyous and crazymaking. Two year olds are BUSY!  E & D are talking up a storm and surprise me daily with the amazing things they say to me and each other, and their sense of humor, too.  They are seriously funny kids, both of them.  But then there is the bickering, the fighting, the defiance and destruction that literally has me running the other direction (or losing my cool) more than a few times a day, as well.  Two and four years old is HARD!  For all involved!  They are generally much better behaved when we are out and about, so I've been doing that more and more often.  Which is nice (and so different from our first year plus, ha ha!) but when I do that my house turns into a giant wreck.  Ah well.  Tradeoffs, tradeoffs...   

This afternoon the kids were outside playing while I tried to do some clean up and meal planning inside.  I had suggested or set out various things to do, and was hoping they would play peacefully and safely without too much attention from me.  

I knew I was tempting fate, setting up the water table.  At first I just put a little water in, so they could fill their watering cans.  But I got tired of refilling. It was sunny, but not sprinkler weather (Emma asked, and I declined).  Maybe 60 degrees (F) with a decent breeze?  

They played off and on with lots of other things, and didn't get wet!  I was pleasantly surprised.  The next thing I know, Emma is suddenly outside in a bathing suit.  Ummm...?  Then I saw Delia leaning into the water table.  With her coat on.  

Then, Emma decides to wash her foot in the water table. You can't see it too well in this picture, and I didn't notice at the time, or I might have discouraged this since I knew what would happen next....

Delia follows suit.  With her shoe.  Her super nice leather Ecco tennis shoe (luckily got them for a STEAL at the twins club sale, and water never hurt anything). 

Here she (and Emma) are a bit more serious, contemplating what just happened, and the immediate consequences (very wet shoe).   

Ah well, screw the wet shoe (and pants and SUPER soaked coat) -- on with the fun!

I like this one because of the two profile shot:

After that I went back in.  Not too much longer, and I had three very wet, cold girls on my doorstep (here's two of them). 

Emma and Delia were quite unhappy about the cold there for a moment, but perhaps it was a good learning moment.  It was not too big of a deal to get everyone dry and changed.  I was glad I bit my tongue and let them have their fun, despite my initial desires to immediately change gears and not let the shenanigans continue.

However, all of us CANNOT WAIT until summer (and warmer weather) is truly here to stay!  Who knows when that will be around these parts, but we can hope it is sooner, rather than later, right?

When Mama's busy, the blog gets ignored.  Sorry!  

This week's been a bit crazy as I prepared to participate in my multiples club gear and clothing sale.  Its a big sale that our club puts on twice a year, where members sell (and get to keep most of the profits from!) all sorts of baby gear, toys, clothes, shoes, etc.  I had been to the sales to buy lots (Awesome deals! And members shop early!) but never sold, since it takes a fair bit of time to prep and work the day of the sale.  

Finally my girls felt old enough (and happily going to bed without nursing or mama) that I felt able to commit to selling.  So, this week I was madly searching for and labling hangers, writing out tags and pricing, cleaning and organizing gear and clothes.  I have SO many clothes, and only scratched the surface with mostly unused tiny baby size this time.  It was exciting to get some of the bigger gear I had left (swings, bouncers, etc) out of the house though.  

Friday night me and 50 or so other parents of multiples went over to the location and set up.  So much stuff!  So many great deals!  Once it was organized we got to shop ourselves, and I scored some AWESOME clothes and shoes for the girls -- for cheap!  I got some booster seats for the kitchen table for the little girls that were an instant hit.  

Then I was back early Saturday to help with the actual sale for non-selling club members and the public.  I worked in the holds area, where people store their gear while they keep shopping.  I remember my first sale where I was pregnant and buying stuff like a double strollers, bouncers, baby gyms, etc, and it felt like a full circle moment to be there helping all these expecting and new twin families with this kind of stuff.  

And it was pretty nice to hang out with all grownups for a significant chunk of time!  Its a lot of work to prep for the sale, but I will definitely do it again, for the fun factor as well as making some $$$.  And I am excited to see my check in the mail, because I did sell a lot of stuff, hooray!