Intrepid Murmurings

Awhile back, I posted about our toddler bed transition connundrum with our twins, Elsie and Delia.  Mainly, how to manage the transition from cribs to Big Kid Beds, with two crazy two year olds.  

I have slowly, SLOWLY, been getting used to the idea, that at some point somewhat soonish, this is going to have to happen.  Lonnie also agreed that we don't need to push it, or at least relented to my adamant refusal to jump on board, ha ha!

I felt like any change was pushing our luck -- Elsie and Delia go to bed so well in their cribs, now.  Bedtime, for both naps and night, is a breeze, which is HUGE, I know, I truly truly know from our experiences with Emma (and the early days E& D!) and from so many other friends stories.  Now, they still wake up many nights at least once, and are early early early birds, so its not all sawing logs around here, trust me.  But for the most part, I am really happy with our sleep situation.  

Which is why, a month or so ago, I was very distressed to find out that not one but BOTH of our cribs were unsafe.  One, Elsie's, which we bought new for Emma, was recalled due to the dropside.  I knew this was coming, and can get some hardware to immobilize that side, making it safe.  Delia's, however, which we got used from another family, ended up being too old for a recall, but is also considered unsafe to use.  No fixes there.  That one always felt a bit more rickety, and after hearing that, I freaked out and knew it had to go.  

Delia's last day in her crib, sniff sniff!

But, what to do?  New cribs, for just a short time?  Cribs that convert to toddler beds?  We really prefer larger sized beds, so we can lie down with them if needed, so toddler beds aren't our top choice.  Just bite the bullet and switch to Big Kid Beds (single beds) and hope for the best, in terms of nighttime shenanigans?  

None of these options sounded good.  But I really wanted to get rid of that one crib in particular.  So, I had an idea.  We took down the crib, and put Delia's mattress on the floor.  Then, I brought out the old Super Yard (yes, the one that we used outside to gate off the front steps so they could play on the front porch, all of last year!).  After a VERY thorough cleaning, it found a new home.  Here we are trying it out for the first time (Delia is very pleased, and Elsie was quite envious, though accepting, of Delia's new bed.  When asked what kind of bed she has now, she says "Gate!".  Ha!  

Basically, it is a crib on the ground (which I can fit into!).  If she wanted to, she could climb it I'm sure, but neither of the girls have seriously considered climbing out of their cribs, so so far this hasn't been an issue. The mattress fits pretty well, though there is a gap on one side I stuff with blankets, and a foot or two space at the end of the bed (I wouldn't use this with an infant, for that reason!).  It has worked great -- she likes it and sleeps just as well in it as the old crib.  The only issue I have is that when both E & D fall asleep nursing with me in the glider for naptime (they don't at bedtime anymore) I can't ease her in, one armed in the football hold, the way I used to.  They are getting so big, and the bed is so low!  Going to have to figure that one out...

Obviously this is a temporary stage.  I've already found a second gate to borrow (thanks to my multiples club classifieds, woohoo!) so we will be doing this for Elsie's as well (she is pleased, and I am excited that this may solve the jumping wake up issue).  Soon, I will try opening one of the sides on their gates, and see if they will stay in bed when told (we still use a monitor, so I go to them when they wake & need me in the night).  If the crazy bedtime challenges start happening that I have read so much about (with them waking each other up, getting in each others beds, playing and causing chaos instead of sleeping) we will deem it Not Time Yet and close them back up.  

Once we get them sleeping well in the open beds, we'll move to (much cuter) Big Kid Beds.  They are very interested in this -- Delia insists she will be getting a "Maisy Big Girl Bed" and luckily, Grandma Cynthia is going to make that happen with some cute quilts and pillows, hooray!  

What has your experience been with the Big Kid Bed transition?  Any tricks for twins or sibs who share a room?  I'd love to hear it!  

I am having a toddler room sharing dilemma -- which I am sure is quite common.  Elsie now insists on jumping in her crib, very very vigorously (squeak squeak squeak! Bump bump bump!), and throwing her sippy cup (Thud!) and then stuffed animals out the moment she wakes in the morning (or from nap).  Which is generally 5:40 am or so, for the former.  

It is clearly waking up Delia AND Emma (who is in the next room over, behind a closed door!).  Elsie & Delia have a nightlight that cues when its wakeup time (right now set for 6am) and for awhile there she was really good about waiting -- not sure if she was lying there awake waiting for "Sun Come On!" or just sleeping later.   But now, that is not happening. Again.    

Its not like 20 minutes is a huge deal, either.  My issue is less that she is waking a bit earlier than I'd like and more about the jumping/waking sibs up. Though I do kind of fear that she will keep pushing it earlier and earlier  -- back to the 4:30-5am wakeups we were having awhile ago-- horrors!  I am not a morning person!  And I feel bad for both Delia and Emma -- they could use the sleep.  Until recently both Elsie and Delia would start talking or calling for me, which doesn't seem to wake each other as much.  The jumping, nobody ever sleeps through.    

What would YOU do?  Is there anything TO do at this age (two years old)?  I have told her not to jump but ha ha ha, yeah right.  Jumping is SO FUN!!! Especially if it causes your sister to then wake and jump, too, in unison!!!  I get that, and agree.  Pretty fun stuff.  But still!  Don't freaking wake your sister!  This is my biggest fear with the whole looming crib to big kid bed transition, and I know this is nothing compared to what we may face (oh hello, here I come to SIT ON YOU, sleeping sister, WAKE UUUUUUUUUP!).  I just am trying to figure out if there is something I can say or do to eliminate this.  

Probably not.  

Alas.  

Oh, toddlers... 

A few days ago, right at bedtime (us not them), Lonnie suggested we get Big Kid Beds for Elsie and Delia.  He has also suggested they SHARE A BED.    

His reasoning?  Emma was sleeping in one way earlier than this (18 months). They could come get us if they needed us, so we could ditch the monitor.  They are occasionally threatening to try to climb out of their cribs (more on this below).  He shared rooms and beds with his (not same age) siblings as a kid, and thinks it was good.  I am not sure if there are any other reasons he was thinking of... 

Um, what?  Panic panic panic.  I spent a good 20 minutes thinking of all the reasons I do NOT think this is a good idea (while he fell peacefully to sleep).  Here they are!  For the record, Elsie and Delia will be two years old in a few weeks.  

• they fall asleep at night and nap really great in their cribs right now!
• they like their cribs, a lot
• they are FINALLY starting to sleep through the night, having recently nightweaned (let's not fix what's not broke)
• their cribs are the only place IN THE HOUSE where I can put them when I need to separate them, or when I need a few moments where they are safe and cannot get into things (we have no baby gates up now).  
• their cribs are the only places that are truly their own space, that their siblings cannot get into and take things from
• they have yet to climb out of their cribs, and are not really threatening to, either (mostly just play/pretending by lifting their leg up to try occasionally)
• I have heard HORROR stories about transitioning twins to big kid beds, mainly having to do with:
• How the heck do you keep them from getting into their sibs bed and keeping/waking them up?  Right now my girls love to sit on each others heads, all the time, for fun (even when the other is NOT having fun).  
• How do you you keep them from leaving the room frequently?
• Two two year olds left awake,  alone and able to access a room full of clothes, shoes, toys in books sounds like a recipe for disaster...
• Also having them able to wake up, leave their room and have access to the whole house unsupervised at night is Not Good.  We do not have baby gates up in our house anymore.   
• Making this transition will likely add a fair bit of time to bedtime until they get into the new routine, both at nap and at night (I have heard from many folks that this can be up to an hour or two of returning them to their beds and staying until they fall asleep).

So much is going on, and I keep meaning to dedicate a post to each of these things, but for the time being, here's the short clip version:

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With the big number two birthdays heading on down the line, I finally bit the bullet and nightweaned.  FINALLY, I know!   I could have done it sooner but for many reasons I did not.  They still wake and need a cuddle in the night a fair bit, so we're not 100% there yet but for the first time IN MORE THAN 4 YEARS, there are nights when I am sleeping for longer than 3 hours at a time without interruption.  And its oh, so delightful.  

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Also, the waking in the wee hours of the morning is gradually getting better again.  Thanks in part to EARLIER bedtimes, woo hoo (and a few other changes to the bedtime routine, for all three girls)! Thank you all who gave me advice on this.  I'll try to write a bit more about this soonish...

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We are also in the midst of potty training!  Delia pretty much figured it out on her own and is doing great if I remind her often enough.  I had high hopes of going for it as full-time as I could (during the hours we were home) this week, but OMG, if we go without diapers its pretty much a constant job helping one of them use the potty, dealing with someone else's accident, one or the other wanting to wanting to sit on the big potty or dump the little potty, flush, needing my help to wash hands, needing to wash the sister's hands who just touched the potty/pee/whatever too, another accident over there, rinse, repeat.   Potty Insanity.   I gave up on the jump-into-it-whole-hog approach for the time being, but we may reassess and try again soon.  

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All in all things here are both joyous and crazymaking. Two year olds are BUSY!  E & D are talking up a storm and surprise me daily with the amazing things they say to me and each other, and their sense of humor, too.  They are seriously funny kids, both of them.  But then there is the bickering, the fighting, the defiance and destruction that literally has me running the other direction (or losing my cool) more than a few times a day, as well.  Two and four years old is HARD!  For all involved!  They are generally much better behaved when we are out and about, so I've been doing that more and more often.  Which is nice (and so different from our first year plus, ha ha!) but when I do that my house turns into a giant wreck.  Ah well.  Tradeoffs, tradeoffs...   

A few weeks ago lots of parents I know were cursing the upcoming daylight savings time switch.  For the most part, I didn't get what the big fuss was about.  Just switch to the new time when you all get up, and over the course of a day or two everyone will settle back into the routine, right?  

Ha ha.

In the past, this mostly has worked for us, and I guess I was lucky!  Its not like we've not faced our share of sleep issues, that is for sure.  But since our bedtime routine got set in stone (when the babies were around 6 months, more like 2 years old for Emma)  bedtime is generally pretty smooth, no matter what.  The sleep cues just WORK for my kids, thank goodness, knock on wood, yada yada yada.  If the routine is done, they start to yawn, they lie down and (generally) go to sleep.  I am SO thankful for this and feel like its payoff for a lot of hard work early on (but also, just really great luck, I am sure).   

But.  Mornings & middle of the night are another story.  Unrelated to DST, Elsie and Delia have been waking up too much, as I mentioned in my recent post about nightweaning.   The past week or so I have been mostly sticking to the "no milk until 2am" rule, and while one or the other baby still wakes somewhere between 10pm-2am, they usually go back to sleep (with or without a little complaining) if I go in and tell them that its not time yet.  Which is great, in some respects.  Could be worse!

But then, they sleep until 4:30-5:30am. Which is way past my 2am rule (and what I wanted - to keep pushing it out further and further until we just nurse upon waking for the day).  So they nurse, but instead of going back to sleep for one more stretch, then they are UP!   As am I.  Until daylight savings time, they were waking twice in the night, but sleeping until 6:30.  Emma was also sleeping until 6:30, but is now regularly waking at 5-5:30 (today it was 4:30,  though thankfully she fell asleep for another hour).   So we've all lost several hours of sleep and are not making it up!  And since its still dark outside then, its not that (we have blackout shades to help with that in the summer months, anyway).  Is it just that their clocks are still set to the old time?  

Emma has also pretty much dropped her nap in the past two months (though she still has nap/quiet time each day and occasionally falls asleep), which I think its normal for a almost 4 year old, but thats another 1.5 hours lost for her.  Her mood is definitely reflecting it some days!  We were doing so well for awhile!  

I am not sure what to do.  Its not that this is new territory, either -- we've dealt with the early bird waking off and on for years with all three (and Lonnie, too, ha ha).  I feel strongly about the "sleep debt" thing, though, which I read about in the book Sleepless In America.   In that book she talks about how a lack of sleep leads to less restorative sleep and more wakeups, which in turn creates more sleep issues.  Basically, you need to break the cycle and get everyone caught up on sleep to get back on track.  I have definitely seen this happen here.  But how?  Do I need to start putting them to bed at 6:30?  Their bedtime now is 7:30 and that seems pretty early.  Maybe we'll compromise and try 7?  Or will that just lead to more 4am wakups (yeowch!).  Or do we just ride it out and hope that they gradually start sleeping later on their own?  

Parents, what are your experiences with sleep these days?  Any adjustments needed since DST?  Any other early risers out there?  What would you do in my shoes?  I miss my beauty sleep (and am definitely NOT a morning person like the rest of this family).  

Awhile back, and for a good many months, I was actually getting to read a fair bit.  Real books, I mean, not just snippets from magazines or all the wonderful bloggy goodness I get sucked into on the web.  The stars aligned with a combo of my routine of nursing the babies down (and them needing some time to get settled, so I was there for awhile), their need for two naps a day, in daylight hours (bedtime its too dark to read so I listen or play with my iPod).   

Elsie and Delia are actually really sweet when its bedtime, and I like to chat and cuddle and play with them a bit first.  Even though I have both of them there, tandem nursing, I find this is great one-on-one time.  Its hard to explain, because obviously the other twin is always right there listening/watching, but they are amazingly great at just chilling and nursing or whatever while I interact with the other.  Its sweet.  But after a few minutes of talking and interacting, I find its good to sort of "check out" mentally so that they get the message its time to sleep, and that is where I get my reading in.  Yahoo!  

But lately, I am finding less and less time to read!  Bummer!  I think its because we've dropped a nap (there goes 20 or so minutes of reading time!)  and that they are needing to nurse less (they actually rarely fall asleep nursing now) -- so after 10 minutes or so at nap and bedtime I really ought to just put them in their cribs. Waaaah!  No more forced reading time!  I realize this is a silly complaint -- I should just go sit down and read with my newfound spare time!  But once I am out of the chair and other things are calling, its easy to choose something else to do.  Ah well.  

So lately the books have been stacking up!  I really need to get cracking!  Here is a list of what's on my "to-read" pile (I don't own ALL of these, but the top 6-7 I do).   Not a ton of heavy literature, or much literature at all, I'm afraid!  I'm still finding I mostly want to plow through parenting books when I find the time....

Kristin's to-read book list

Kristin Hutchinson's favorite books »

Hey, if any of you are also Goodreads users (and not already on my friends list), let me know -- I'd love to see what you are reading! Many of the books on my list are from the suggestions of other friends. So many books, so little time!

.... E & D BOTH slept through the night, 7:30pm to 6am, without a peep.  Yahoo!  That is all.  

I did it!  I posted every day for a month (except for the 3rd, which was before I had joined NaBloPoMo)!  It really wasn't as hard as I expected.  And fun to get back in the swing of things again -- I used to really enjoy blogging more back in the day!  Its just hard to prioritize with all the other things to do (on the internet, and off it).  I intend to keep at it to some extent, though not QUITE as frequently, perhaps.  But its been fun.  And I probably will do it again at some point!

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Today we had a nice morning at home, with no AM naps for the little ones!  It was great!  We are in the 2-1 nap transition and most days if we are home I try to put them down (because I like having that time to shower/do dishes/hang with Emma/chill) but today (as often is the case) they just didn't seem sleepy until it was too late -- I don't want to put them down after 9:30 or the whole PM nap shifts too late.  So, we just played and did chores and I actually got a fair bit done, with no big problems with the kiddies. 

And an earlyish PM nap meant we had time to go to the toddler gym at our local community center -- which was GREAT! It was the first time I went somewhere like that without the big stroller too -- we made it in just fine with everyone walking.  Whew!  

We got there for the last 45min or so, so they let us in for free, yahoo!  And then let us stay late, too!  They have tons of bikes and push toys, some slides and climbers, a tent and a bouncy house, some balls and other toys.  All of which Elsie and Delia LOVE (and Emma enjoys as well).  E & D zoom around so fast on the bikes -- a big open space without hills or many obstacles is a treat!  And they are pretty cute when one pushes (or chases) the other on a bike, ha ha.  Delia adored the bouncy house, and went in at least 4 times.  

I remember when Emma was this age she always needed me RIGHT THERE helping and encouraging her to try anything, but Elsie and Delia are totally fine playing all the way across the gym by themselves.  Hooray for second/third child syndrome!  There were only a few other kids there, two of which I know from La Leche League -- so I got to hang out with some mama friends as well.  Excellent.    

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Shameless self promotion:  Hey, over on the Top Baby Blogs site I'm now in the top 100!  96 to be exact (erm, not that I am obsessively keeping track or anything, heh heh).  But thanks for clicking/voting for me!  Not sure if you can vote more than once, but if you haven't yet, go for it!  Just click the button in the right sidebar to send in a "vote".  Thanks!  

Its 10:27pm, and if I were not NaBloPoMo-ing, I would be going to bed postless.  Alas.  Here I am. 

Tonight I went out!  To a restaurant!  There were only adults there! And loud music! I had a drink!  And appetizers and a giant bread pudding.  It felt kind of bizarre.  I was meeting up with some other moms of twins to talk about organizing some meetups and playdates for the club, but it was mostly social.  Only very recently has Lonnie (and I) felt like it was managable with just him doing bedtime for all 3, and I have to say it feels really great to drive off into the night (erm, evening, I suppose), but strange and exhausting too. Getting out together (for a real date!) will be the next step.  Ha ha.  

In other news:  we are all recovered and healthy (except for Lonnie and his lingering cold & cough), and knock on wood, everyone has been sleeping really well.   Elsie and Delia are still waking up once in the night (sometimes twice if you count before I go to bed) but they have been SLEEPING IN!  Until 6:45 or so!  SHOCKING!  Seriously, that is considerably better than the 5/5:30 crack of dawn waking that they were pulling for a LONG time there.  As is only one wakeup.  And Emma has been sleeping that late too, which is the latest ever for her, I think (at least since she quit nursing!).   So thats pretty excellent!   I feel very rested.  

But, it is late and I must go to bed.  Catch ya' tomorrow... 

Tired of being locked up in our house on flu quarantine!  We are going nuts here!

Tired of wondering if its H1N1, strep, sinus or ear infections.  Or a combo of them all.   

Tired of E & D climbing ON EVERYTHING.  And messing up my stuff.  Constantly.

Tired of sick babies wanting to nurse all the time.   

Tired of no naps, late naps, short naps, messed up naps due to the 2-1 nap transition and the 1-0 nap transition.

Tired of food refusal and food throwing.

Tired of negotiating.   

BUT!  Last night everybody slept!  E & D from 7:30-6 (with one wakeup around 4:45).  So despite all of the above, I am not actually TIRED.  Yeah! 

On various parenting forums I am on, people sometimes worry (preemptively) about how to juggle more than one kid, especially when it comes to sleep and putting kids to bed.  When you have a needy, challenging sleeper for kid number one, this fear is definitely multiplied!  Here is my response to someone who was asking specifically about putting kids to bed when it is just you (one adult).  Ah, a topic near and dear to my heart...sleep!   (This was an attachment parenting group, so it has a AP bent to it.  Which is basically our style, anyway!)

As soon as I was pregnant, we started working on getting Emma (then 16 month old)  sleeping more independently.   I know some families make the family bed work with several kids, but I just didn't think it would for us, especially with twins on the way!  She was a challenging sleeper and very dependent on mama for getting to/staying asleep (nursing to sleep, nursing for all wakeups, very hard to get down for naps etc).   So once we found out we were pregnant (and actually about a month before we knew) we started making gradual changes. Baby steps, towards the goal of more independent sleep.    Nightweaning, falling asleep without being held/rocked, sleeping in her own bed (but with with mama),  sleeping first stretch alone.....eventually (many many months later, actually a bit after the twins were born) learning to fall asleep without someone lying there with her.  It really was a slow, organic process, but for us laying the foundation for the changes, and easing into it, worked. 

Today Delia fell off something (a foam climbing block? Her bike?) and was flat on her back in the living room, crying.  I was talking to her and expressing sympathy but not actually moving from my pile of laundry, heh.  Elsie was eyeing the scene and jumped off her bike and went over and gave her several big hugs and kisses, and patted her head.  SO CUTE! They do this a fair bit but its usually somewhat prompted, as in NO TACKLING YOUR SISTER, give her a hug (hug follows), or WE DON'T PULL EACH OTHERS CLOTHES AND HAIR, gentle touches only,  give your sister a hug and a kiss (hug and kiss follow).  Etc, etc, etc.   Up until recently Delia would always oblige with the kisses and hugs, even if she was the victim (which seems frequently to be the case) so its nice to see Elsie initiating the loves as well.   

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Awhile ago I posted to my multiples club forum asking for experience on older siblings being able to distinguish identical siblings.  Because at 3 years old and 1 year for the little ones, that was still not happening around here.  For more than a year Emma generally referred to Elsie and Delia as "baby" or "this baby/that baby" or "other baby".  She knew their names, and was proud to tell them to folks, she just could not tell them apart and did not try.  I was starting to worry about her bonding to them individually, or having memories of each one versus the two (thats still a stretch, I know) but low and behold....she's figured it out!  And corrects me sometimes, ha ha!  I am still not sure what clicked, or if she is using one of the tricks I taught her, but I don't thinks so.  They both have grown into their own looks that is very easy for us to distinguish, and Emma has caught on as well.  Whew!  

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Sleep is still generally going poorly, with sleeping through the night (by Delia in particular) juuuuuuuust enough to keep me stringing along and not doing the sleep work stuff.  Gotta do it though.  Procrastinate procrastinate procrastinate.  They had a week or so of awesomeness starting the day I was about to start the new regime, and so I dropped it before even starting.  Bah.  

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After an amazing amazing early fall, the rains have begun in Seattle!  Ah, familiar grey wet skies!  And drat, what the heck am I going to do with all this toddler energy?  Man these girls are CRAZY sometimes and really need to get out and do stuff.  They are climbers, runners, sliders and swingers.  They love balls and bikes and water and fun.  I think we will be heading to the community center toddler gyms a LOT in the coming weeks, but geesh, it is such a chore to get us all ready and out of the house, not to mention chasing/mediating/keeping track of three speedy busy kids when we are out in the world.  The park is now both really fun and really stressful for me, now that they Will Not Sit in the stroller.  I sometimes have to literally run after one while leaving the other in semi-precarious places.  Luckily total strangers will often look after one while I am chasing the others...

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I know some of you have seen this but here is a recent and extremely rare shot of all three girls in one picture, all looking happy at the same time!  Wow! I literally only have 5-6 of these total, and most of them look so so, with one or the other looking the wrong way, crying, etc.  They are sitting in my awesome and beloved glider, that we still use daily.  Here are the out-takes and other pictures from October...

Delia, Emma, Elsie 

Oh sleep, remember all my sleep woes back in the day?  Oh man, it was rough.  What a difference a year makes......

....you'd think, right....?  

Ha ha, not so much, sadly!  Though after reading those old posts, its definitely not as bad as it once was!  At some point I just stopped posting about it all, because it was too dang depressing and repetitive.  But after LOTS of work, trying a million things (and waiting it out) we did get a good thing going for quite awhile -- not "sleeping through the night" but managable wakeups, easier and easier bedtime routines, eventually the ability to go down in that holy grail of "sleepy but awake" and put themselves to sleep.  They were slowly slowly SLOWLY getting longer stretches, and this spring we were down to one or two wakeups a night, per baby (many of those simultaneous, which is good, and sometimes one before I went to bed, also ideal).  

And then, for two magical weeks in June, after they turned one, we had sleeping through the night!  All by themselves, with me doing nothing to cause it!  

And then, enter molars, stage left.  Times eight.  Boo!   

And now, sleep has reeeeeeallly gotten bad again.  What the heck?  They are 16 months old! I think its been the three months of nonstop teething (those molars take FOR EV ER!), and the patterns of waking and nursing and cosleeping that came from that. Elsie in particular wakes up SO DANG MUCH, like every few hours, or even every 45 min or so for part of the night recently.  And stands there hollering in her crib (as soon as I come in she starts jumping in excitment, trampoline style) when she used to cry/fuss and then go back to sleep.  She does nurse back to sleep really well, and usually transfers well (though sometimes just won't unless I bring her into our room and/or bed).  But.  The night wakings.  Ack!  Delia also has them, just not as often, and sometimes hers are more bad dreams (she just is SO SAD and I don't mind comforting her at all in these cases).

Knock on wood, naps have been going fine.  Super super regular, easy to get them down, and while they aren't super long sometimes, they are decent, and hour to an hour and half, twice a day like clockwork.  I'll take it.   

So I've known that I needed to do something about the nighttime sleep, and have been contemplating CIO (cry it out) or nightweaning, or both, in some combination.  But procrastination has gotten the better of me, and I was managing pretty well (I really have gotten quite used to not sleeping much and feel pretty decent) until this week.  But its really time.  Emma was 16 months when we nightweaned, so that is in my head as well.  If she could do it, these little girls should be easy!  

Any kind of sleep stuff is doubly hard with two, though.  For one, if I let them cry, they wake each other up, or one passes out while the other cries, and then they switch.  Misery!  If I put one in the P & P in our room they sometimes just cry and cry because we are right there but out of reach.  And with their room right next to Emma's, I worry about it bothering her, too.  There's also the worry that if I nightwean, they will still wake up  (as Emma did until she was two years old!) but then I won't have this great super easy way to get them back to sleep.  But the biggest issue for me is that nursing them to sleep (or to sleepy, at bedtime anyway) is the ONLY way I know how to calm two crazy, riled up or fussy babies by myself.  It works like a charm.  Trying to read stories, rock them or sing to them just doesn't work with two -- they squirm and kick and grab each other (and scream) and try to stand up and climb, yada yada yada.  Its insane.  Nursing just works so well!  So I don't want to cut it out completely, thats for sure. 

Anyway, after another spectacularly bad night on Sun, I decided to start last night with the nightweaning.  It couldn't really get any worse, so why not bite the bullet and get going?  I was just going to start by cutting them off after less time, like nursing for 5 min and then returning them to bed, because I didn't want to go cold turkey after they had been nursing so much in the night -- supply and demand, you know?  I already had one plugged duct this week and don't want any more!  

So I put them to bed as usual, but talked up the sleeping thing -- that they had water int heir cribs and didn't need milk every time, that they could go back to sleep by themselves if they woke up....and low and behold, THEY SLEPT!  Elsie woke once at 11, Delia slept the whole night!  Both went down as usual at 7:30 and were up at 6 (which is actually great -- often they are up for the day by 5-5:30).  

Yahoo!!!  I keep telling myself not to expect a repeat, especially since this awesome night followed such a horrible one (and the horrible one has been much more the norm for the past few weeks).  But, it was nice to see that it IS possible, and it makes me feel like the sleep training/changes should work pretty well, if it comes to that...

On the parenting forum I spend a fair bit o' time at, somebody started a thread about twin sanity milestones.  As in, when do things start to get better here?  When can I look forward to XYZ?  PLEASE JUST GIVE ME HOPE was basically the sentiment.  

I think it is hard because with twins (and I am sure higher order multiples) things just take longer.  Everything takes longer  -- getting to know your babies, getting feeding settled, getting sleep settled, getting routines in place, and most of all feeling like you have this whole parenting/baby thing under control.   I read this somewhere when I was still pregnant -- to just count on EVERYTHING with twins to take an extra month or so, and that was really great advice that has served me well over the past year or so.  

But man oh man are the early months hard with infant twins!  It seems every parent of twins I meet (mostly online, admittedly) goes through a Very Desparate phase, once the initial excitement wears off and the extra help (if they were lucky enough to have it like we did!) goes home.  Mine was around 3-4 months, and oy vey, it was rough.  

I have been reading another blog lately,  Little Wonders (whose identical girls were born early due to TTTS, but are both now home and doing great, woohoo!), and its been really taking me back to those crazy, sleep deprived days.  Also, I guess, because its been a year now for us, and its just so easy to remember back to what was happening (or not happening!) this time last year. 

Anyway, back to the sanity milestones.  Here were mine, roughly:

3 months -- started nursing a little less often (supplementing more) but that allowed me a lot more time to DO stuff.  Like cook, laundry, etc etc.  Started being better able to manage getting out with all 3 girls by myself -- actual outings!  Out of the house!  It felt really good!

4/5 months --  Back at home a lot, working really hard on all the sleep stuff (the worst point for that was around 4 months, which spurred the changes I put in place to get everyone into a somewhat regular napping and sleep routine.  Once it fell into place this REALLY helped maintain everyone's sanity!  

6 months -- moved into cribs from the baby beds (Amby Hammocks), started going down for sleep a lot easier (without a huge plan/ordeal this time!).  Lonnie was suddenly able to get them to sleep better than I could for awhile!  This was really a relief.  

At 6 months, things in general felt a lot more manageable!  Woohoo! Started getting out a lot more again, felt less overwhelmed, etc etc.  Finally felt like we could really do this AND integrate some kind of reasonable life back into the mix as well.  Babies could play in exersaucers/bouncers or bumbos for longer, were really noticing each other and interacting. So fun!  

8 months  - Sitting!  This did help a bit with self entertainment (though the bumbos/exersaucers/jumpers did this as well a few months earlier) and especially with bathtime.  Once the girls could sit steadily for bath that part of the day became a lot easier and a lot more fun for all.   On the sleep front, naps had gotten really regular and could be counted on at regular times pretty much ALL the time.  THANK GOODNESS! 

9 months -- Started relying more on solids than milk for nutrition.  Able to stop supplementing w/formula and nurse exclusively, which meant nursing became less worrisome for me (no more fears of early weaning, which would cycle around up until then when they showed bottle preferences).  This was a big relief for me, since feeding and sleep were always my biggest stressors.

10 months -- crawling (and climbing)!  Hooray hooray!  Able to entertain themselves/each other for much longer periods as they perused all the new things available to them throughout the house.  Made a lot more messes, but I'll take that any day over fussy babies!   Having lots of fun with them,  early communication starting to happen, which is SO GREAT (receptive more than actual talking but some words & signs too)

12 months --  The girls really started playing together a lot more (hugs and kisses for each other too!).  Lots of passing back and forth toys (not always though!), joining in on each others play and following each other around, generally getting along well (I realize this may not last but its awesome for the time being).  More progress on the sleep front -- able to fall asleep by themselves without fussing if left sleepy but awake, and occasional sleeping through the night!  Hallelujah!

***more soon on the whole sleeping through the night thing!  This definitely deserves its own post!  Its still so shocking to me that babies of mine are sleeping through the night this early.  I realize that many of you think that is insane but its all relative....   Emma was good in preparing me for interrupted nights, that is for sure!   

 I am typing this on my new MAC laptop, woohoo!  While also wearing two babies in carriers on front and back, while bouncing on the ball to get them to sleep.  Got to go put them down soon to give my shoulders a rest!

Well, after my last post I finally got a few hours of solid sleep and that helped my outlook some.  Ha!  We still really need to get cracking on some changes, though.   

Unfortunately, in the past few days both babies have caught a gross cold from Emma, and are snuffly, snotty, coughing little girls. Yuck.  I wanted to start doing some sleep stuff last night but its hard when they are so uncomfortable and having trouble breathing as it is (I'm getting it a little bit, too).  I pulled out TNCSS again and am definitely working on getting them to start falling asleep without sucking (basically you detach them over and over again right before they fall asleep until they just accept it and fall asleep without it).  It actually works faster and with less fuss than I'd expect, but at 3am with two babies its really hard to keep at it.  REALLY HARD.  After awhile, all plans get called off because I just have to get some sleep or I will be unable to function.  But, I have hopes that it will slowly work if I just keep at it whenever I can.  

I am also looking into getting a chair to nurse the babies in upstairs, as I currently have no option other than the bed, which is really difficult to get them both off of by myself without waking them.  We have a regular glider that just does not accommodate the twin nursing pillow plus the three of us anymore.  I am looking into something like this, and have a bunch of unused credit card points that I can use to get it. Should I go for it?  I think it will be used for a long time after nursing is over for reading bedtime stories and such, or as a comfortable living room or family room chair.  

This morning I got up and left the house at 7:30 (!) to go to the twins club sale with Delia.  We are members, so for a half hour before it opens to the public we can get in and snap up all the good deals.  So fun!  I got a playgym mat that I've really been wanting, two different styles of baby bath seats that should be AWESOME to help facilitate baby & Emma combo baths,  some fancy cloth diapers at great prices, and some misc. clothes that we were needing.   I love getting good deals on baby gear! 

Okay, more very soon.  I have a 4 month update about the babies that deserves its own post.