Intrepid Murmurings

Today I had three sick kids on my hands.  It is late June and it is still cold and grey and wet outside, as it has been off and on all spring.  What the heck?  I am pretty used to soggy weather growing up around here, but I am reeeeealy starting to be ready for some sunshine, shorts and flip flops, thankyouverymuch. 

It actually was a blessing in disguise, though (the sick day, not the weather!).   After a busy week last week, staying home -- and having an open schedule all week, for the most part -- was really freeing.  Its amazing how busy things can get, with just school, a class or two, some appointments and outings and playdates.  Mostly fun stuff, for sure, but its nice to have some chill days at home, especially when the kids aren't climbing the walls with pent up energy.  Mellow, mellow, mellow. 

All three kids were up last night with coughs or fever, and it reminded me how far we've come, in terms of sleep.  I complain about sleep sometimes, because we are not at my own mythical ideal of what sleep should be at this stage, but really we are doing pretty great in the grand scheme of things.  

With pretty much anything, all I need to do to gain a little perspective is to remember where we were two years ago, with newborn twins and a two year old, and then I can appreciate how far we've come, and how great we do, in fact, have it now.  We have children who sleep for more than an hour at a time, they go to bed (in their own beds, not on me!) reliably, they play and entertain themselves for significant chunks of time, sometimes.  They eat and gain weight.  They can tell us what they want and need, and what they are thinking about.  It is delightful.

So today, despite having some whiny, clingy, feverish cuddle times (and lots of requests to nurse) at various points when the Motrin wore off (mostly Elsie, Delia and Emma have colds but are not too bad off), we also had some cool moments.  Like when Emma helped me sweep the kitchen floor, and actually got almost all the dirt from my piles into the dustpan, by herself.  And then, all three girls helped me clean the floors -- and they actually did it (I gave them all microfiber rags and a spray bottle with a vinigar water, and they went to town. AWESOME!  Emma also started FOLDING LAUNDRY (!) and did a decent job with a couple of things before she lost interest.  

I also did well at mixing things up throughout the morning (free play, art project, TV time, downstairs play) which makes a huuuuuge difference in terms of keeping things pleasant.  I've also been able to spend a bit more time with Emma one-on-one in the past few days (movie night, putting her to bed, playing a game with her after quiet time) and that obviously helps a lot. 

Thats all for now, many more posts a-brewin' (having a hard time wrapping them up and posting them, but they will be coming, soon!).

I feel like there are two fronts right now that lend themselves well to stats, so here they are:

Bites today: 2 (just so you know, this is really, really good, considering the past week!!!)

Potty Accidents: 3 (which would be great if it were a regular day, but since they were in diapers 90% of the day today, eh, not so fab.  Alas.)

...with two potty training toddlers, who are doing it!  Which is awesome!  But they are definitely in the realm of needing Mama's help A LOT, with reminders and clothing especially, and cleanup on occasions too, and its really time consuming!  Egads!    

...with continuing wake ups.  Because right when they were JUST starting to sleep through the night, at least every now and then, they now wake up to needing to PEE IN THE POTTY at night.  What???  This was not on my radar!  But I cannot go back.  This is the right thing to do.  

....with twin toddler shenanigans that are in full force.  The biting.  The possessiveness.  The neediness.  The testing.  The ignoring.  The independance!  Its exhausting.  

...with too many commitments -- school, gymnastics, appointments, playdates, and volunteering & social stuff that tends to spiral out of control reaaaaaly fast, I've discovered.  I need to simplify and cut things out, and thats hard.  

...house and yard maintenance.  Its seems like I can keep things under control for awhile, and then everything starts to crumble and I am not sure why.  I think its the good weather, causing me to spend more time outdoors, and take the girls places, which is great!  But takes away from the other stuff.  

...blogging.  I want to write and post and take pictures but then find myself sucking hours away editing a million photos.  I am finding tons of fabulous bloggers to read and follow, but need to balance that with working on my own stuff.  I have a bunch of ideas for my blog, but the technical stuff takes HUGE amounts of time and energy that I do not have.  Blah.  

 Gotta go -- crying baby! And exhausted mama.  

Elsie on left, Delia on right.  Popsicles were half vanilla yogurt, half mango/strawberry juice.  Delish!

Here are a few links I have been meaning to share, and this is as good of time as any!  I'm keeping these marked so I can return to them when I need a reminder or two...  

You're a Fabulous Mother from A Magical Childhood.  

From Well Grounded Life, What a Good Mother Does.  

The Toddler 10 Commandments, from Code Name: Mama

And I ADORE this one -- They Are Listening, from the Maternal Lens... 

Also, a huuuuuuuuge congrats and welcome home to my cousin and beautiful new baby, Bereket Hanna.  What an awesome family!  

Have a great rest of the weekend, everyone! 

One thing about having more than one child, is that it gives you a perspective on how truly different kids can be.  When you just have one, its really really hard sometimes to truely understand that all kids do not act and respond to things the way that yours does.  At least I had trouble with that at times!  Even though intellectually (and experientially as a teacher!) I knew it was true.  

Take my girls.  Emma (the oldest) has always been super cautious.  She was a mama's girl for a loooong time, hesitant about strangers and new situations. Very slow to warm up.  A very picky (cautious) eater.  And physically, always always careful, nervous, and slow to take on a challenge. A lot of times, this worked great for me, especially her being a fairly careful toddler when I had two newborns to lug around as well.  Thank goodness!  

Elsie and Delia, not so much!  They are so different than Emma (though similar to each other), especially with regards to the physical stuff.  Even though they took longer to actually crawl and walk than Emma did, from the start they have been climbers, leapers, adventurers, and daredevils -- both of them!  Delia perhaps a bit moreso (hence the two chipped teeth on one occasion, and fat lip and stiches on another...) but really both of them are pretty equal with this.  Last spring, a few months before they turned one (and many before they started walking!),  Delia --and later Elsie-- started walking up our little slide.  I can't believe that video is only from a year ago!  Since then they've mastered all sorts of way bigger slides, and are now working on climbing much larger things, ladders, hanging on bars, swinging, dangling and jumping...

The thing is, even though they are very physical and adventurous, I don't worry (too much) about them falling or getting hurt, at least in places and with equipment they know well (like our backyard).  I feel like they've figured out what gravity does, and are careful enough to not do something stupid.  Perhaps naive of me, but its worth it to me to give them space and not follow them around.  So lately, we've been letting all three girls out to play in the backyard by themselves.   Revolutionary!

A few days ago they were out there in a brief sunny moment, in between all the rain we've been having.  When I first looked out they were playing around on the swings (pushing each other sometimes, oh so cute!).  In a few minutes I looked out again and saw BOTH Elsie and Delia almost to the top of the high climbing wall, one right behind the other.  The one that Emma only mastered in the last few months!  By the time I was out there they were both up, so here's a few shots of Elsie trying it again by herself... 

Yep, thats Delia again, going up the big slide this time!  What a difference (or maybe not) a year makes!  

This afternoon the kids were outside playing while I tried to do some clean up and meal planning inside.  I had suggested or set out various things to do, and was hoping they would play peacefully and safely without too much attention from me.  

I knew I was tempting fate, setting up the water table.  At first I just put a little water in, so they could fill their watering cans.  But I got tired of refilling. It was sunny, but not sprinkler weather (Emma asked, and I declined).  Maybe 60 degrees (F) with a decent breeze?  

They played off and on with lots of other things, and didn't get wet!  I was pleasantly surprised.  The next thing I know, Emma is suddenly outside in a bathing suit.  Ummm...?  Then I saw Delia leaning into the water table.  With her coat on.  

Then, Emma decides to wash her foot in the water table. You can't see it too well in this picture, and I didn't notice at the time, or I might have discouraged this since I knew what would happen next....

Delia follows suit.  With her shoe.  Her super nice leather Ecco tennis shoe (luckily got them for a STEAL at the twins club sale, and water never hurt anything). 

Here she (and Emma) are a bit more serious, contemplating what just happened, and the immediate consequences (very wet shoe).   

Ah well, screw the wet shoe (and pants and SUPER soaked coat) -- on with the fun!

I like this one because of the two profile shot:

After that I went back in.  Not too much longer, and I had three very wet, cold girls on my doorstep (here's two of them). 

Emma and Delia were quite unhappy about the cold there for a moment, but perhaps it was a good learning moment.  It was not too big of a deal to get everyone dry and changed.  I was glad I bit my tongue and let them have their fun, despite my initial desires to immediately change gears and not let the shenanigans continue.

However, all of us CANNOT WAIT until summer (and warmer weather) is truly here to stay!  Who knows when that will be around these parts, but we can hope it is sooner, rather than later, right?

Today, in the midst of authoring her own book about monsters, Emma looked up and said "Elmo isn't real, is he? He's a story?" I had to agree, and we had a bit of a conversation about what puppets are.  We had watched the "Elmo's Potty Time" DVD earlier in the day (which all three girls adore), so she wondered aloud about Elmo's dad and Prairie Dawn, who are also in that show.  She seemed nonchalant about it, though maybe a bit disappointed, I'm not sure.  

I totally had to keep in the tears.  My baby is growing up!!!  

Sesame Street in general and Elmo in particular has been big deals around here, with lots of love heaped on them over the past few years. On more than one occasion Emma has asked -- almost insisted -- that we take an airplane to go visit Sesame Street.  At age 4 (going on 14), I knew this was coming, but tried to hold on to the magic for as long as we could...

Mostly because I love it so, myself.  Jim Henson was a serious dreamer, and the worlds he created were pretty freaking awesome.  

I adored Sesame Street and all things Muppet for way longer than was cool (and then into high school and college, when it was kind of cool again, ha ha).   When racing on my high school ski team, I would wear the Bert and Ernie (Fisher Price) little people around my neck every weekend for good luck (the very ones my kids all play with today, in fact).   In college, I kept a Kermit doll in my dorm room (also now much loved by the girls).  

So, yeah.  This is more about me than her, but it just made me teary to see such an obvious sign of her growing up and figuring things out.  She is in a stage of really trying to sort out "real" from "story" or "pretend", which is absolutely age appropriate, of course.  I am sure she and I can still share a love of muppety, puppety things, but its not the same now, is it, really?  Not quite?  

I just hope I can manage to walk the line of answering her questions about this kind of thing -- being (mostly) truthful, but also keeping the world a magical place for her still, as she gets older and more aware, more curious, more worldly.

Emma, 18-19 months 

This post is part of the Mom's 30 Minute Blog Challenge on Steady Mom.

Does anyone else remember that Sesame Street clean up song? Circa 1977?  I was hoping to find it online but alas.  It was the cleanup song of my childhood.  Oh, Muppets, you make everything just a bit better...

Some friends and I were chatting (online) about the challenges of getting our kids to clean up.  As I mentioned last week, I do try to get my kids to do stuff on their own, as much as possible.  But cleaning up their toys, well, that's still definitely a work in progress, ha ha! At ages 3.75 and 1.75 (x2) I still feel like I spend a good deal of my time picking up (or tripping on) the detritus of toys, clothes, shoes, cups and other household items they strew about the house (in mere minutes, it seems).  

I think the challenges with clean up (and kids ignoring you when you are asking them to do stuff) is really common and age appropriate for toddlers and preschoolers (and probably on up!).   Cleaning up is admittedly NOT often a fun thing, and hard for kids who live in the moment to accept and do willingly.  I recently took a class on positive discipline at Emma's preschool and literally every family (20 or so) had challenges with this type of thing.  That felt really reassuring to us all!  Back when I taught 5-6 year olds this was definitely not a mastered skill for all (even with the group momentum helping my cause).

I've recently been getting a bit more frustrated by the whole clean-up regime around our house.  We definitely get resistance!  I admittedly didn't start having Emma regularly participate in clean up until 3.5, at least in an organized manner (she'd certainly do it sometimes, just not every time, or even daily).  Now, we have all three girls doing at least some each days, and sometimes its smooth(ish), other days Not At All.  

But, there is hope! Here are a few things that have helped me here at home (or in the classroom):  

• Have clean-up part of a set daily routine, and really stick to it.  In the past its always been after dinner for us, but recently we've been trying to do it before.  I try to have something fun after clean up to look forward to, as well.  With our new routine change we tend to push the coffee/play table out of the way and use the clean, toy free living room for after dinner physical activities, which they love.


• Have a fun, silly song that you put on EVERY TIME you clean up. That way, you don't have to even say a word, the song is the cue to start.  In my kindergarten classroom it was The Yellow Submarine. It was a pretty hilarious thing to have 16 kids singing along exuberantly while they cleaned!  Even kids that were not that into cleaning couldn't help singing along and joining in once everyone else was. I find music really cues in my kids well, better than words. It works for us really well at bedtime as well (they call it "sleepytime music").


• Make it a game, if you possibly can.  Make it a race, challenge them to find all the X's or Y's, shoot hoops into the tub, whatever you can think of to make it fun.  Sometimes my girls need step by step directions to break down a big clean up task into managable parts.  Sometimes, I just don't have the energy, too.  


• I also have been trying to make clean up time a family work time -- where we are all doing jobs "to help the family". If one (or more) of my girls don't feel like cleaning up toys, I am trying to let that go and let them "help" (ha ha) sweep, wipe down tables/highchairs, organize something, etc. The main thing is that they are participating, as are ALL of us at that time.  


• I also try to narrate out loud about what I am doing, what each family member is doing, and why, so that it eventually sinks in that this is just what we do at this time (and that there is a reason we pick things up or do the work we do).   If someone really isn't willing to participate we let them sit in a chair and watch us, but they don't get to keep on playing. So far this is working, mostly.


• The "connect then correct" concept (from Positive Disipline) is pretty simple but powerful, as well. Getting down at eye level, doing something physical (eye contact, a hand on the shoulder or a quick neck/back rub, sitting on lap, reading a story, cuddling, a hug, or just a moment talking about what's going on and feelings) before telling them what needs to be done can really work wonders (I forget this, constantly).


• Back to the routine thing, having a picture chart of the daily routine can be really helpful too! Some kids really seem to connect well to a visual cue (like others connect to the music/auditory ones) and they LOVE pictures of themselves and their stuff. Taking pictures of them doing each of the steps in the routine, ordering them and pasting them up somewhere, then referring to it can help. My class instructor called this "letting the routine be the boss"

So, two nights ago, I encountered one of those moments you dread as a parent of young kids.  Everything was fine, we'd had a good day and I had two freshly bathed girls happily nursing before bed.  I was excited to head out in just minutes to meet some friends from my moms group for a night out, and was really looking forward to a delicious drink and dessert.  And then.  That horrible sound.  Gagging.  And then hurling.  Over and over again, all over Delia's clothes, and mine.  Somehow, Elsie was spared, not sure how!  

After cleaning her up (including a quick shower) and new jammies on, we settled back down for a nurse (she really wanted to, I was a little wary).  She was in good spirits, considering, and was talking about it a lot. "Food! Up! Sick! Messy! Bucket!" (she was really into the idea of throwing up into a bucket the next time, "dee dee's bug-get", ha ha).  And then it happened again (not in the bucket).  Another change of clothes for the both of us. GROSS!  At that point she just wanted to get in her crib so I put her in, lined with towels, and hoped for the best.   But no dinner out for me that night!

She did puke one more time, just a little, and while she probably would have been fine in her crib, I was obsessing over every sound over the monitor so I brought her to bed with us.   She was thrilled with the idea of sleeping in our bed (we have two mattresses pushed up next to each other so there was lots of space to puke-proof her side of the bed)  and tried mightily to fall asleep, but it was just not happening so I put her in the pack & play and she slept pretty well there.  She's seemed to be fine since then, whew!  

But all in all, this incient reminded me how much I HATE stomach illnesses, and how lucky we have been to have it happen so rarely (not counting those 10 or so months of constant spit up).  In the moment of crisis I am fine, but I was on edge all night and the next day waiting for the other shoe to drop.  So far, it hasn't....knocking on wood!

 Little people.  Appearing all over the house.  Frozen in little scenes, after someone has wandered off.

Breastfeeding, and those baby cuddles where they burrow their face into your neck.

Goldfish crackers, string cheese, Cheerios 

Lullaby music 

Footed pajamas, tiny little socks, Babylegs

The happy sounds of little ones:  singing, shrieks, giggles 

Thanks to Sarah of Two Wooden Spoons for the inspiration for this post.  

Now, go post one of your own!  And let me know in the comments so I can go check it out!  

Awhile back, and for a good many months, I was actually getting to read a fair bit.  Real books, I mean, not just snippets from magazines or all the wonderful bloggy goodness I get sucked into on the web.  The stars aligned with a combo of my routine of nursing the babies down (and them needing some time to get settled, so I was there for awhile), their need for two naps a day, in daylight hours (bedtime its too dark to read so I listen or play with my iPod).   

Elsie and Delia are actually really sweet when its bedtime, and I like to chat and cuddle and play with them a bit first.  Even though I have both of them there, tandem nursing, I find this is great one-on-one time.  Its hard to explain, because obviously the other twin is always right there listening/watching, but they are amazingly great at just chilling and nursing or whatever while I interact with the other.  Its sweet.  But after a few minutes of talking and interacting, I find its good to sort of "check out" mentally so that they get the message its time to sleep, and that is where I get my reading in.  Yahoo!  

But lately, I am finding less and less time to read!  Bummer!  I think its because we've dropped a nap (there goes 20 or so minutes of reading time!)  and that they are needing to nurse less (they actually rarely fall asleep nursing now) -- so after 10 minutes or so at nap and bedtime I really ought to just put them in their cribs. Waaaah!  No more forced reading time!  I realize this is a silly complaint -- I should just go sit down and read with my newfound spare time!  But once I am out of the chair and other things are calling, its easy to choose something else to do.  Ah well.  

So lately the books have been stacking up!  I really need to get cracking!  Here is a list of what's on my "to-read" pile (I don't own ALL of these, but the top 6-7 I do).   Not a ton of heavy literature, or much literature at all, I'm afraid!  I'm still finding I mostly want to plow through parenting books when I find the time....

Kristin's to-read book list

Kristin Hutchinson's favorite books »

Hey, if any of you are also Goodreads users (and not already on my friends list), let me know -- I'd love to see what you are reading! Many of the books on my list are from the suggestions of other friends. So many books, so little time!

Ability  to function on a couple hours of broken sleep

Ability to make pancakes from scratch, without a recipe

Ability to soothe any hurt or sadness with a single (or in the case of twins, two) breast(s)

Ability to entertain a hurt 16 month old in a hospital room for 7 hours without toys or books (or nursing, in that case!!!)

Ability to understand (and speak!) toddler-ese, fluently

Ability to monitor and track 3 mobile little kids in a gym, museum, etc without losing one of them (or my own mind)

Ability to tie a child on my back with a piece of fabric

Ability to tell a child to GO BACK TO SLEEP and have them DO IT! (Shocking! Though this admittedly doesn't work ALL the time...)

Ability to make up a song about anything, anytime, anywhere.  

What are your superpowers?