Intrepid Murmurings

Soon after I learned we were having twins, I joined our local twins/multiples club.  I figured it would be a good way to reach out and meet other families with twins or more, and also really wanted to get the benefits of getting in early to the baby gear sales that they offer twice a year.  

It was absolutely worth it just for that -- I LOVE the sales!  The gear and clothes are often gently used and very well priced, and you get the thrill of going in ahead of the big general public line to swipe these awesome deals.  Wheee!  In the early days I got things like strollers, bouncers, cloth diapers, etc at the sales -- now, I always go straight to the shoe section and stock up on that and our next round of clothes.  I could also sell some of our gear at the sales, but so far the time commitment and organization needed for that has been too much for me!  

The club also has other benefits, like an online message forum, which is a really great support when you are shut in at home all day.   I have other online parenting forums I am partial to, but for things specific to twins or multiples, its nice to have other folks to bounce ideas off of, or to just get sympathy and support.   There are things like nursing and sleep issues, as well as general getting out of the house challenges, that moms (or dads) of singletons just don't get.  

The aspect that has mostly eluded me so far, however, is meeting up with other parents and families of twins face to face, in real life.  I would love to have a bunch of twin/triplet mamas to hang out with, to swap stories and ideas have our kids play -- part support group, part playgroup, or just mama friends to get together with on a more individual basis.   I had this when Emma was a baby, and it was great!

If the twins had been my first kids, it would have been easier to do this.  Both the twins group and another parenting group in the area has meetings or twin groups like this, based on age of the babies.  But, you can't really bring older children!  Even if it was allowed, in the early days (the first year or so) if I did get out to something like that, I spent almost all my time entertaining or managing my 2 year old (not to mention the two babies!) and couldn't follow a conversation with other adults to save my life.  I think a lot of the more organized groups tend to cater to first time parents, too, so they were sometimes discussing things that were more first time parent concerns, not twin/multiple kid concerns, necessarily -- which is what I needed!  

So awhile back I volunteered with my multiples club to help work on playdates and outings -- for kids 12 months and beyond. This is when I finally was able to start taking my kids somewhere and actually have fun -- maybe because Emma is a bit older and easier to handle, and also that the babies are so much more flexible and easy in terms of feeding and sleep (hallelujah!).  We are trying to get some playdates going in various neighborhoods around the city, and also outings to places like the zoo or children's museum, where we meet up and hang out together.   My main goal is to start seeing people on a more regular basis, so we can get to know each other better and maybe make some new family friends with multiples.  Unfortunately, its been a bit harder than I expected!   

Part of it is that my efforts have been half-hearted --  after a few initial failures (just no shows, due to a variety of reasons) I haven't put in the time organizing the events as well as I should.  Its easy to put off something when there are not others banging down your door to have it done! There are tons of folks that love the IDEA of getting together, but coordinating interests, ages of children and schedules (with many folks working part time) can take time and a lot of organization.  And then there's the size issue -- if you get even get 5-6 families worth of kids and parents (each with 2-4 kids), thats a BIG group! Where do you go?  Who has room and is willing to host?  

I think the biggest issue facing us, and certainly my number one problem, is that its HARD to get two or more kids out of the house and to organized events, especially across town.  Its hard working around naps, mealtimes and school schedules times two or three.  There's the illnesses that crop up one after the other and last for ages, leaving you to what feels like a life in quarantine!  When everyone is healthy, there is still big allure for groups and events within your neighborhood, but with our club and this specific demographic (people with multiples 1-4 years old-ish), we don't have enough critical mass in any one neigborhood (at leat not mine!) and some folks are going to have to travel.   

But!  I do have hope!  We just got some more volunteers from the club to help, and got a bunch of dates on the calendar.   I am really hoping we can make some kind of schedule for regular, re-occurring get-togethers that folks can start putting on the calendar and planning ahead for.  I think it would be awesome for my girls to know some other twins, and I'd love to make some twin-or-more mama friends.   Where else will I get the hot tips on what parks are totally fenced in, what stores have carts for two or more kids*, or what twin umbrella stroller is the awesomest?   We'll see if this time we can get the ball rolling...

Anyone out there have experiences with playgroups for multiples?  Ideas for outings thats fun and managable?  Where did you meet your mamas of multiples friends, and how and where do you meet up?  

*  In my area I know that Costco and Safeway have two-seaters,  while QFC & Target have a FEW that seat four!  I am always on the lookout for more...