Intrepid Murmurings

I did it!  I posted every day for a month (except for the 3rd, which was before I had joined NaBloPoMo)!  It really wasn't as hard as I expected.  And fun to get back in the swing of things again -- I used to really enjoy blogging more back in the day!  Its just hard to prioritize with all the other things to do (on the internet, and off it).  I intend to keep at it to some extent, though not QUITE as frequently, perhaps.  But its been fun.  And I probably will do it again at some point!

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Today we had a nice morning at home, with no AM naps for the little ones!  It was great!  We are in the 2-1 nap transition and most days if we are home I try to put them down (because I like having that time to shower/do dishes/hang with Emma/chill) but today (as often is the case) they just didn't seem sleepy until it was too late -- I don't want to put them down after 9:30 or the whole PM nap shifts too late.  So, we just played and did chores and I actually got a fair bit done, with no big problems with the kiddies. 

And an earlyish PM nap meant we had time to go to the toddler gym at our local community center -- which was GREAT! It was the first time I went somewhere like that without the big stroller too -- we made it in just fine with everyone walking.  Whew!  

We got there for the last 45min or so, so they let us in for free, yahoo!  And then let us stay late, too!  They have tons of bikes and push toys, some slides and climbers, a tent and a bouncy house, some balls and other toys.  All of which Elsie and Delia LOVE (and Emma enjoys as well).  E & D zoom around so fast on the bikes -- a big open space without hills or many obstacles is a treat!  And they are pretty cute when one pushes (or chases) the other on a bike, ha ha.  Delia adored the bouncy house, and went in at least 4 times.  

I remember when Emma was this age she always needed me RIGHT THERE helping and encouraging her to try anything, but Elsie and Delia are totally fine playing all the way across the gym by themselves.  Hooray for second/third child syndrome!  There were only a few other kids there, two of which I know from La Leche League -- so I got to hang out with some mama friends as well.  Excellent.    

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Shameless self promotion:  Hey, over on the Top Baby Blogs site I'm now in the top 100!  96 to be exact (erm, not that I am obsessively keeping track or anything, heh heh).  But thanks for clicking/voting for me!  Not sure if you can vote more than once, but if you haven't yet, go for it!  Just click the button in the right sidebar to send in a "vote".  Thanks!  

grimy kitchen floor

but no cleaning solution?

windex is your friend 

chocolate, dish soap, peas

hot dogs, artichokes, soy milk

costco on sunday

"bye bye I love you"

then toddling off downstairs

babies growing up!

kids asleep (for now)

lounging on the internet

tea or wine? cookies!

clay, rocks, rubber bands

the crunch of chalk as it breaks

toddler taste testing

sunlight, baby curls

a look of adoration

nothing else matters

In my efforts to drum up a little more readership, I have succumbed to joining this nifty parenting blog directory. There are a ton of great blogs listed here, including one of my faves -- go check it out!  But first, click on the button below to give me a "vote".   Many of these blogs are in a whole 'nother  league than mine, in terms of readership, so I am not expecting to make it to the top of their listings by a longshot!  But, every vote counts, and I might at least gain a few more followers in the process...

Thanks!!!

Happy half birthday, Elsie and Delia!  I cannot believe what big girls you are becoming!  Though I am still going to call you my babies for a LOT longer!   

Elsie, you are my Elsie-roo and our social butterfly.  You are interested in everyone and rarely nervous around new people or experiences. You love bringing toys or "treasures" to us, or anyone around.   You love playing with dolls or little people, and will play with them so intently.  Sometimes your people "talk" but often they cry, whine or fight.  Ha ha!  In your play you are very dramatic and you crack us up!   

You also love riding your bike, and do it FAST.  You are a daredevil; you climb chairs in an instant (even though you know you aren't supposed to) and often try to get up on the kitchen table or go over the side of the couch.  You rarely fall and get hurt, though -- you are careful enough and know your limits (or maybe you are just lucky)!   Sometimes I think you enjoy being "naughty" as you giggle with glee running away from me, or towards whatever it is I have told you not to do.  

You like lots of foods and are fairly adventurous in your eating!  Your favorites are yougurt, cereal, cheese, and fruit.  You also like cooked carrots, ham, hot dogs, and macaroni and cheese.  Also beets, and grapes.  Your favorite treats are chocolate, ice cream, and cookies.  You are a fast eater; you take care of business and then you are ready to get down and back to playing (or sitting on Mama or Daddys lap).  

Right now you are starting to say lots of new words.  Your current favorite is "yup", which you use as an agreement to everything.  You are very agreeable!  You also say "books!" a lot and love reading them, by yourself or with your sisters. Another favorite word is "milk" ("meee") which you use often when you want some mama time.   You still love to nurse, and are a great cuddler who gives big hugs.  You often wake before (or more often than) your sister, perhaps so you can get some one-on-one cuddles.   You also like sneaking into Daddy's office for quiet cuddles on his lap while he is working -- you know to sneak in without letting your sisters in on the secret!   You also love going to get the mail with Daddy, and are always excited when its your turn. 

Delia,  you are my sweet baby D, DeeDee, Delia G, and you are both sensitive and crazy, wild but shy.  You are a comedian and a ham, you like to scream and head-bang (like a rockstar) and make us all laugh.  

But you are also nervous about new places, new things, and especially new people.  You HATE the doctors office, and are scared of the garbage truck (though now instead of crying every time you see or hear it, you just say "byebye, byebye" willing it to leave!). You are starting to get over your fear of all strangers (no more crying when people talk to us in the grocery store!), but you still are quiet and want to be held or close to mama a lot of the time.   

You are talking up a storm these days, and it is so fun to see what you will say next!  Your favorite phrase these days is "no no no", which you use to voice your opinion about all sorts of things (including nap and bed time).   Other favorite words are "Emma" "Aiko" "Daddy" and "Mama", "diaper", "Elmo", "bonk" and so many others I cannot write down.  You pretty much echo everything we say!  You also love singing, and have been singing to us and yourself a lot lately --  we love it!  You sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star but also lots of other random tunes.  

You are a busy girl and love riding your bike FAST, and are itching to figure out a big girl pedal trike.  You love running as fast as you can, jumping and climbing on anything you can. You love playing with Emma and will often push her on her bike, or willingly go along with her games and play.  You love balls and are mesmerized watching older kids playing basketball or soccer.   You also love books and reading and like reading to yourself or being read to by mama, Daddy, or Emma.  

You are starting to become pickier in your eating, but you still love lots of things, and are a slow and steady eater, like your Daddy.  You will sit there for EVER just eating a bite here and there, or sucking on something, and complain if we try to clear your plate or get you down.   Your favorites are yogurt, cheese, cereal, grapes, applesauce, corn, berries, ham and hot dogs, crackers, mac and cheese, and of course,  ice cream, cookies and chocolate!  You also like beets though!  And artichokes!  

You are also such a sweet cuddle bunny and love cuddling and nursing with Mama.  You ask for "ma ma ma" (mama milk) and just lie so still and happy when you are nursing (sometimes anyway!).   But you are also happy and willing to go into your crib when you are sleepy, and are able to put yourself to sleep so well -- you are a great sleeper!   Thank you for that!  

Elsie and Delia, you are such amazing little girls and we love you so much!  And it is so clear how much you love each other -your sweet hugs and kisses, holding hands and pats for each other make my day.  I can't wait to see what the future holds for you -- but I also don't want to let go of my sweet and fun 1.5 year olds!   

I love looking back to see what the girls were like a year ago.  Time flies!  One year ago Elsie and Delia were exactly 6 months old!  Here are a few from that day.  

Happy Thanksgiving all! 

Elsie! 

Delia and Great Grandma Chrystal 

Emma, Grandpa Richard, and Chardonnay 

Six months old!  So little!  So cute! 

I think our changes to the food routine are working!  We have been working really hard to follow the division of responsibility thing and to not pressure or even comment on what and how much Emma eats.   Not sure if she is eating better or just that the stress is lowered, but I'll take either option.  In the book, Satter talks about how even the slightest pressure (commenting on what she should try, etc) can result in battles of will, which almost always affects eating negatively.  It also seems it can take a few weeks of following the plan to see positive changes in terms of eating (attitudes and behavior issues can change immediately though!), as the kids relax and see food not as a tool to get positive/negative attention.  

I will say, I was totally unimpressed with one section of this book -- the one about "older babies" and weaning.  Basically she said that nursing a baby beyond a year is a horrible idea and causes a host of problems -- something to nip in the bud by weaning around a year.  WTF??????  I totally disagree with so many of the things she said in that chapter and had to put the book down for a few days because I was too annoyed.  I absolutely do not feel nursing affects my kids solid food and eating habits, or that they are manipulating me through our nursing relationship.  Their nursing is not causing poor behavior, in fact I would argue quite the opposite!   There are many documented pros to continuing to nurse past a year, and it is recommended by the World Health Organization, for goodness sake! Perhaps, as an expert in feeding problems, Satter mostly sees the horror stories and cases where extended nursing has become a problem? Which of course CAN happen, but is NOT the norm.   I take offense to her assuming that all extended nursing is bad, and more for the mother than the kid. Geesh!  

In terms of foods, I have been trying to think of new foods or combinations to try with all 3 girls.  We need to avoid the food ruts we have been in lately!  Here are some of the things that they DO like, most of the time (not necessarily all three, but at least one or two of them!) 

• cheese.  in all forms.  yogurt.  cottage cheese.  string, cheddar, cream cheese.  
• bread, crackers,  pretzels,  dry cereal (also with milk).  Pancakes and waffles, 
• fruit.  Elsie pretty much any fruit, Delia a bit more picky, Emma only a few types!  Everyone adores grapes though!  apples, pears, bananas, oranges.  peaches, canned usually. mangos.  applesauce or other pureed fruit (often mixed with yogurt). strawberries or raspberries. frozen (or fresh) blueberries.   
• dried fruit: raisins, craisins, cherries, dates.  apricots and prunes sometimes.  dried mango!  yum!
• ham, other deli meats.  cooked/roasted chicken.  chicken nuggets.  other meats very occasionally and depending on presentation.  scrambled eggs. 
• mac and cheese.  noodles and pasta.  potatoes.
• ham and cheese or pb&j sandwiches
• beans, sometimes.   
• broccoli, spinach or chard.  peas!!!  corn!!!  artichokes!!! beets!!!!  Not many other veggies but I'll take it...

Its 10:27pm, and if I were not NaBloPoMo-ing, I would be going to bed postless.  Alas.  Here I am. 

Tonight I went out!  To a restaurant!  There were only adults there! And loud music! I had a drink!  And appetizers and a giant bread pudding.  It felt kind of bizarre.  I was meeting up with some other moms of twins to talk about organizing some meetups and playdates for the club, but it was mostly social.  Only very recently has Lonnie (and I) felt like it was managable with just him doing bedtime for all 3, and I have to say it feels really great to drive off into the night (erm, evening, I suppose), but strange and exhausting too. Getting out together (for a real date!) will be the next step.  Ha ha.  

In other news:  we are all recovered and healthy (except for Lonnie and his lingering cold & cough), and knock on wood, everyone has been sleeping really well.   Elsie and Delia are still waking up once in the night (sometimes twice if you count before I go to bed) but they have been SLEEPING IN!  Until 6:45 or so!  SHOCKING!  Seriously, that is considerably better than the 5/5:30 crack of dawn waking that they were pulling for a LONG time there.  As is only one wakeup.  And Emma has been sleeping that late too, which is the latest ever for her, I think (at least since she quit nursing!).   So thats pretty excellent!   I feel very rested.  

But, it is late and I must go to bed.  Catch ya' tomorrow... 

....is getting really hard out in public these days! We went to the Children's Museum and I lost a baby maybe 3 or 4 times in an hour or two?  Only once was kind of scary -- she ended up being on the other side of an exhibit but it was nerve wracking to say the least!   This was the first time where the little ones mostly walked and barely stayed in the stroller at all (because there was NO WAY I could keep them in there) and it was definitely a bit exhausting.  But fun!  

Especially cool was the grocery store exhibit where they get to fill up their little shopping carts with food and then go through the the cashier counter.   No pictures from that, since I was busy the whole time making sure nobody crashed into others or wandered off!  Emma would have enjoyed staying there longer but I HAD to get us to the baby section where it was contained for awhile.  Here's Delia chillin' after a little water play.

Later we also went in to the art studio, which is a dangerous proposition with two 18 month olds, let me tell you.  Emma got set up with some clay and I helped Elsie and Delia color with markers for awhile (well, a few minutes, until Elsie started eating the markers).  Then I let them try out the clay too, and they were pretty interested!  Here are some pictures of that.  We had to end it when Elsie started eating CLAY this time.  Yuck!  She thought it tasted pretty bad, though.  Ha ha! One of these days she is going to learn, right?  

After that we went upstairs to the food court (not part of the Children's museum) for lunch.  Its a big food court, with a nice mix of folks to people watch.  They even have little kid sized tables, so I was able to set the girls up in chairs and not highchairs -- very cool!

I had a moment in the bathrooms later, though, that is worth sharing.  We had been in there awhile (had to help Emma w/the potty & washing hands, then changing diapers x 2) and E & D decided to SHRIEK piercing high-pitched screams back and forth and in unison for fun.  SO unbelievably loud. They do this from time to time but this was the first time in public. Luckily there was nobody else in the bathroom, and only a cluster of high-school kids in the hallway outside, who found it humorous I think. "Oh, that's what that was!" I heard one of the girls say.  Ha ha!  We hightailed it out of there as fast as we could -- luckily they stopped as soon as we got moving.  But OMG.  Embarrassing!

If there is one thing I cannot ignore, it is the siren song of Etsy calling my name, especially this time of year.  I love this site!  It is a collection of shops by artists and craftsfolk and you can find SO many great things, both handmade and vintage.  Cute stuff! And what is great is that you buying directly from the artists, so you can feel good about supporting their work directly.  

I have a few ideas for possible future creative pursuits of my own that might involve an Etsy shop, things I am percoloating at this point.   Maybe when I have a BIT more time on my hands (a year? Two years?  Three?).   In the meantime, I wanted to point out two of my favorite artists.  Who also happen to be friends, here in Seattle!  

The first is Leah, from Spiderfelt.  Leah makes amazing things out of wool, through felting.  She also taught me to knit (although I think I have forgotten in all at this point)!   Last year her felt pebbles were featured in the New York Times Holiday Gift Guide! Wow!  I am ogling her feltilocks for Emma, if only I can convince her to wear something in her hair....

The other is my friend Jessi Taylor.  Her jewelry is funky and gorgeous and delightful and I wish I had more of it!  I have one of her mangles and want another.  If I had more cash sitting around I would totally have her replace Lonnie's lost wedding ring (no, the one he lost was not from her, thank goodness! That would have been even more tragic!).   

When you are surfing around on Etsy, you can select things as "favorites", both specific items and sellers.  I often use this as a bookmark to keep track of sellers I really like.   Below is a list of the things I love (this is only the first page, click here for the full list!).  I promise I am not suggesting this as a gift list for me (though of course I'd love any of these things, ha ha!) -- I just wanted to share in case you are needing a gift idea for someone on your list!   Now, go browse around and start your own list!  

Recently a new twin mama from my multiples club was feeling guilty about how one of her babies was demanding so much more attention than the other.  I think this is a very common problem with multiples, and one that really tugs at the heartstrings. Here are my thoughts on the issue...  

I know the feeling! I had a similar situation.  I felt like everyone who visited in the early days always got to hang out with Delia, because she was so much calmer and easygoing.  And also that she spent a lot more time in bouncers, swings, on the floor, etc. Elsie was my fussier & needier one then, and she was always nursing, in arms or in a carrier on me.

The best piece of advice I latched on to is the concept that "fair is not equal" (and "equal is not fair"!). Meaning, with twins (or just siblings), each baby/kid will have their own needs, that just will not be the same, and it wouldn't be right to treat them the same. The amount of time you spend with each kid will vary depending on the hour, the day, the month, the year. As they get older, you will need to spend more time helping one with sleep, or another with eating (or math, reading, soccer, etc!). This seems totally obvious when considering different age siblings, but it certainly applies to same age sibs as well!

When they are so young, it really is harder to not feel guilty about, but do trust that if the baby seems happy and content, she is! And that this time will pass! My more needy baby (Elsie) turned into the more easygoing young toddler (for the most part) and is now the one that can easily transfer to others/accept new situations, and my easygoing baby (Delia) is a lot more hesitant and tentative about new things now as a toddler!  I am sure they will flip flop over and over as they get older.

Some tips, though:  

-If you can put the needier baby in a carrier or sling, that helped me a lot. Around 3 months I was able to put her on my back in my Beco carrier and then I had more hands/space to interact with my other baby or my toddler.

-When you are holding one, still face the other baby towards you in the bouncer or whatever and talk to her often, make eye contact, etc. I found just talking to her a lot helped me feel like she was not being ignored.

-Set aside special times to hang out one on one with the less needy twin. I would take her on outings or errands by herself sometimes (because she was so much easier to travel with!) and that was fun and good for us both.

Someone else in the group (I cannot claim this one but wanted to add it here as well!) made the very good point that you also should sometimes just LET the Needy Baby fuss or cry while you take a turn with the calmer baby, and do not ALWAYS tend to Needy Baby first.  Excellent advice!  I definitely did that a lot as well (or took that a step further and tended to the older sister, letting both babies fuss or cry, ha ha!).  Now, though, all three of my girls are amazingly patient, which I think is a pretty great (and necessary) character trait in our family.

Any other tips from my mama of multiple readers?  Or just mamas of more than one? 

I got out of the house today!  By myself!  Its been a LOOOOOONG couple weeks and I did get out once or twice just to do quick shopping but not much else.  Today Grandma has been in town so I hightailed it out to browse an arts & crafts sale (and to say hi to the lovely Lojina and her awesome art!) and then hit The Junction for a little browsing.  It was nice to wander around have time too just LOOK at stuff, and contemplate various options, because usually I a) don't even go into stores that are not grocery or household supply related and b) am always trying to get us in and out as quickly as possible to avoid a disaster...  

After shopping I picked up Chinese food for dinner (highly recommend the honey walnut prawns, chow fun noodles, and 7 flavor pork!  Yum yum!!!!) which was received very well by all 3 adults but generally refused by all 3 kids.  Ah well, you win some you lose some....  

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As for  a health update -- I think we are mostly over The Dreaded Plague.  The girls are sleeping pretty well again, and just a little bit of lingering coughs and runny noses.  I hope they depart soon!  We are Very Sad to be missing a big family gathering tomorrow (and a bday party today!), but could not risk exposing folks when we may still be contagious.  We are not even positive it was H1N1, but its pretty likely....

I FINALLY got my hands on a book that has been recommended to me time and again:  Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense, by Ellyn Satter.  Its a popular book, and I was waiting for it from the library for what felt like FOREVER!  But thank goodness it finally came, since we are in desparate need of some help in the feeding and food department.  

Mostly, our struggles have to do with Emma, though Elsie and Delia are throwing their cups/spoons/bowls in the ring as well (mostly typical toddler stuff at this point).  I love to cook and serve food, but I need to be careful because man, it feels like a minefield these days!  I cannot let myself get frustrated or take it personally when they are not interested in my hard (and delicious) work.  

One of the main points in the book is that in terms of eating and feeding, there is a "division of responsibility" that must be shared between parents and kids.  Here is more info taken from her website:

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This all makes a lot of sense, and though I haven't read a whole lot of the book yet, her arguments and research are very convincing!  She talks about how kids who have trouble with picky or problem eating most often show signs of this, in one way or another as infants -- and indeed!  Emma did have feeding issues very early on!  She was a challenging and needy baby.  She has always been super cautious, very stubborn, and sensitive to her surroundings.   My cousin Sarah recently posted a link to this chart about the 9 temperament traits in children (and all of us) and it was really enlightening as well, especially the "sensory threshold" one, but also many of the others too.  Keeping this stuff in mind makes me feel better that we are not causing the picky eating stuff, but that its just a reflection of her personality right now.  

I still need to read the main sections on toddler and preschool eating and feeding, which I am sure will have tons more advice, but we've already started to make some changes based on her recommendations.  We are no longer badgering her to eat more of this or that on her plate.  We are not withholding dessert until she has eaten XYZ (this one is really hard sometimes, but I am pretty sure it is the right thing to do -- it is SO nice to avoid the power struggles and Emma's misery when choking down whatever food she hates).  We are cutting back on too many snacks/grazing in between meals, and food "panhandling".  And as always, I am trying to include a few foods that she likes at every meal (this can be hard, and definitely doesn't happen all the time).   

Luckily, our issues aren't as bad as some; I know that and am very thankful.  Emma's always been fine in terms of weight/height percentiles and we have no obvious allergy concerns, so there is not that added worry which I know can really multiply the challenges.   For us, its mostly about food variety, or lack thereof.  I hope that as we lighten up and let some of these issues go, we will see some positive changes!  Or at least a bit less stress!

Tired of being locked up in our house on flu quarantine!  We are going nuts here!

Tired of wondering if its H1N1, strep, sinus or ear infections.  Or a combo of them all.   

Tired of E & D climbing ON EVERYTHING.  And messing up my stuff.  Constantly.

Tired of sick babies wanting to nurse all the time.   

Tired of no naps, late naps, short naps, messed up naps due to the 2-1 nap transition and the 1-0 nap transition.

Tired of food refusal and food throwing.

Tired of negotiating.   

BUT!  Last night everybody slept!  E & D from 7:30-6 (with one wakeup around 4:45).  So despite all of the above, I am not actually TIRED.  Yeah!